M41 F42
Clique groups at clubs
September 04 2016
Comments
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madotara69
9 years ago
So 4 plus you 6? Even 4u2 plus 2, or 2 or not 2, 6 or 4, isn't that a group ? In a storm the eagle soars above the clouds. Mado Mado Tara xx
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MrandMrsBrady
9 years ago
Mr U here, we where at the club your referring to the other night. Firstly I agree 31 indicated attending but my books from speaking to people there was that 8( including you and I ) where in attendance. I/we turned up with friends as a foursome, I/we had only met 1 other attendee before that night. I said hello to you and your partner at one point, but didn't fully engage in a chat. I spoke to several other couples for the first time for longer I agree. I believe most of the people( singles& couples)where easily approachable and would of quite happily chatted to anyone. As for your comments re the behaviour of some of the females all I will say is your entitled to your own opinion, just as I will keep mine re your comments to myself Mr U - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I agree and understand how you must have felt. So I assume they played for all to see or was it behind closed doors? Because that in particular I can't understand, if they meet at a club, then go in a locked room? May as well be at a hotel or at home. I'm sorry you got left high and dry like that, and I don't get why the couples couldn't invite you in, more the merrier right? You're not exactly hard on the eyes, are they mad? lol sometimes these things don't make sense, but don't take it personally. Women quite often get jealous with random women coming in. They need to lay down the ground rules first, so there's a thought. I bet that's the reason, wait for the lolly lady to come and accuse me of making a sweeping statement now but that would have to have a lot to do with it, the ground rules/boundaries are discussed in advance with the other couple, who kisses who, who is allowed to penetrate who etc etc bores me to tears personally, go for broke I reckon, holding back, how is that fun? Anyway, my thoughts, now where are they....................
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RHP User
9 years ago
But not to exclude anyone. There is a club in Melbourne that ticked all the boxes for our group when we used to go together. I can tell you none of the couples we met there had the facilities available at there own homes. Also, in many hotels you're cautious of the noises in a bigger group play and it may limit the play in some way. Ive been incredibly lucky and have met amazing women but i can count on two hands the women I enjoy being around when I was more active in the scene. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that 'IN MY EXPERIENCE' it's the women who have ruined the experience for me, whether drunk or not. The competitiveness, the bitchiness, their approach to other women has been deplorable at times. And it you're a little left of centre, or enjoy sex too much (don't ever say that aloud) or you're noisy, squirt etc, you're set up for ridicule, especially if their men 'take a shine to you!' Mary xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
That was my divorce party and I had arranged to meet my friends there. I did that so that if people don't click in the group there are other people there that they may click with. We did not exclude anyone and the vibe in the club was awesome. None of the women I bought with me were drunk but we do know how to have a good time. You could've interacted with the group we are all friendly. And that happens at swingers clubs, people registered interest than don't turn up. Things happen. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I get why they would go because its a more accepting environment- orgy beds with enough space - safety etc but I don't understand why they have to be so cliquey if you aren't there to socialise with others just explain what you are there for and be on your merry way . I am guilty of listing interested and not going things change at the last minute and all. I guess in this scene you win some- you lose some hopefully you'll have better luck in the future.
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RHP User
9 years ago
This group, used basically the whole back area so singles or couples that didnt come with this large group were pushed to the front of the venue. Alot of the people that werent part of the group went home within an hour or two of being there. They gave off a nasty vibe to everyone Girls were over the top, incredibly, I over heard one boasting about how she hogged the voyagers room on NY away from everyone else and it made me cringe. I was lucky and found a single male floating around but I really feel for all the other couples that went and got belittled by the group. And to do it on a theme night to, not cool
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RHP User
9 years ago
We in no way gave off a nasty vibe! And we were in the group room most of the time. There is no lock or door. If you can't stand large personalities from the girls, that's your opinion. We were loud but we are always like that. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MrandMrsBrady
9 years ago
You must be kidding me, MrU again When I go to a vanilla venue I don't expect everybody to talk to me or have conversations about topics that I want to hear about. At some point an effort needs to be made by you to interact with the people there. Where on the front door of the club is the sign that garuntees somebody will talk/play with you?? As I said previously I did say hello, but despite what some people think more isn't always merrier and all parties need to feel some level of attraction to the people that play with. We where due to meet another couple we had chatted to at party they didn't show so we interacted with some others and had a good night..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
We are glad we have no desire to go to clubs.Nice to get reinforcement of our thoughts on what clubs can be like.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Jade. If it's your divorce party. Maybe a night club would have been better? Especially on a big theme night. And Hunny you excluded a lot. Yor whole group did. I know I didn't get a hi back from you guys neither did my husband. I wouldn't be saying this is I was the only person that thought it but after talking to three other couples and a single male during and also after. Friends of ours left after an hour cos they had enough of the bahaviour of the group. Even they got the vibe. Hence the FYI post There was two drunk girls that stood out. Complete black dress other was light blue Alice dress. Maybe I'm in the older generation but being unable to walk sensibly is not attractive. Unicorn hunters. I remember you at the bar. You were the one that said that there were only four lots of people from RHP. That were I got my numbers from. We knew people there but didn't play with those as its about sharing the time with new people. Don't arrange party's for these. Some of our local clubs allow you to hire the venue for divorce party's etc so others nights won't get wreck. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's not like that at all. Right now they are playing the victims. That night was good fun and we met some lovely people for the first time there. They are unhappy because they never had a smile on their face and never seemed approachable like others. Unicorn hunters tried to engage with them and they made little effort. And just so you know op. That was my party, and my theme. I am friends with the owner. I asked him if I could have my divorce party there and he made it a theme night. Which by the way was also my idea. That was supposed to be my night to celebrate my freedom from an unhappy marriage and you are carrying like a little child because things didn't go your way. Stuff like that happens get over it, get over yourself. You are ruining my freaking awesome night! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Clubs are great. Really are. Just a few things spoiled this one night. I love this club. Been before and will go back. Jade we had no interest what so ever to talk once the vibe was set at the very beginning of the night. It's not a place to be in a competition for and that was the big neon vibe we all got. Look I'm happy. I got what I went there for. I'm speaking as someone that saw from the outside and also had those other people say the same. I just say what I see. Unicorn. We did interact. Just with the people that weren't busy or had less then desirable personalities. At the bar you were in convo with someone else so I didn't want to interrupt. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MrandMrsBrady
9 years ago
Why do you assume the original OPs claims are valid? I was at the venue and felt a totally different vibe. And I hardly ever post in the forums because I believe it be the cliquiest place I have ever encountered!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Infinitely sensible attitude. Take a complete random strangers comment on the net about one night and decide every club is like that all the time. Just curious. Are you a bit scared to go?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'CandyDelicious' Infinitely sensible attitude. Take a complete random strangers comment on the net about one night and decide every club is like that all the time. Just curious. Are you a bit scared to go? Not at all we frequently attended private parties while living & swinging in Darwin.Adelaide however we have never heard good reports of venues and very little apparently in the way of venues here. I've (male) been to clubs prior to this relationship but only as a single so my views are as a single male and some where ok others less so. Our view is not purely based on that one comment either, we've spoken with lots of people regarding clubs.Some give great reviews and others not so great, personally i think it's a lifestyle and while we swing occasionally we don't live the lifestyle.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Why the hell would I go to a night club. I wanted sex with an audience and that's what I get at whispers. I am a regular and I never shut doors. The only couple that came and said hello to us was a lovely Colombian couple. They were very nice and sat down to talk to us. We did not put off any sort of vibe. We are all very friendly and have a lot of friends in this lifestyle. What your saying is utter crap. You and your friends are the only ones who have said something like that about any of us. Neither of those girls were drunk. You need to get your facts straight before you start making comments like that. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Speak to the owner. That party was my freaking idea. I pushed for it and I help out there on occasion. I don't want to have a divorce party at another venue. That was my thing. Most of the people in my group had never met before. So they were very much enjoying making new friends. And you wrecked your own night by making assumptions about our attitudes. As the saying goes. Assumptions are the mother of all f***ups - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Girl in the blue dress here! I had 3 drinks I was not drunk in any way just new shoes I wasn't used to! How dare you make those assumptions about anyone there I had only met one person that was there before that night that is it! I am generally a very shy person I put myself in lots of the common front rooms you were very welcome to say hi but you never did and anyone that did say hi to me I talked and chatted to for a while. You should get your facts straight before having a go at people - Posted from rhpmobile
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Letsgetcrazy09
9 years ago
Us Vic's are all a great bunch....hahahaLets
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MrandMrsBrady
9 years ago
At that time I believed it was 4 but by talking to others in the venue I pieced together it was actually 8. The only people I made a conscious decision not to interact with where the younger couple( attractive young female and her partner) for no other reason then I believed we where probably older then what they where looking for, did I ask no just my assumptions. The other was the larger single male, as he gave me a vibe I wasn't comfortable with and single m wasn't really what we where looking for, and I'm not against single m but I know what Mrs U looks for when we do I wasn't rude to either though, I said hello and acknowledged both parties.
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's the same as any other place or night. It's what you make of it. If you didn't enjoy yourself no one can help you with that, it's all on you. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MrandMrsBrady
9 years ago
Some give great reviews and others not so great, personally i think it's a lifestyle and while we swing occasionally we don't live the lifestyle How come you portray yourself in the forums as the resident expert on anything & everything to do with the lifestyle......
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MsJonesy
9 years ago
This is a real case of he said, she said. 😆 You know what.......you are all correct. You all had different experiences at the same venue. This is normal, this happens everytime you venture out the door and attend any event. Some will have a fabulous time, some will think it has been a complete right off. So throwing bitchy comments around about each other is doing nothing but putting EACH of you in a bad light. So perhaps agree to disagree and move on/pull you heads in so your reputation on this site doesn't suffer too much more. Signed, Ms Old and slightly wise-slightly incapacitated but still horny-sick of bitch fights in swingers venues-peace and lurve to all-Jonesy
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RHP User
9 years ago
A good ole scrag fight in the mornin!!!! Ok well maybe it's like 9pm but I'm sure it's morning somewhere right?? :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I thought the vibe was great. I went not knowing anyone, and met people within this "group" u speak of, and I also mingled with those outside of this group, I remember seeing you by the pool table but thought u appeared quite standoffish so that's y I didn't bother. Friendliness and easy going natures attracts me so it's these people I gravitate towards however if u had spoken to me I would never say no, and prob would have introduced u to others I met throughout the night. And I drunk a bit as well, but you know what I had a good night and I wasn't out their to impress anyone, I was their for the fun and the good vibes. And that's what I got and I met some amazing people. But I'm Kinda disappointed in the fact- Clearly by this post that I just realized ppl go their to judge. It's not nice and it's nasty petty high school crap. We're adults. And as for the closed doors. How dare u say they should use a hotel instead. Some ppl r not fased being seen, others come out of their shells a little more behind closed doors. And they should not be made to feel crap about it.......... I hope next time u go u have just as much fun as everybody else, because this negative vibe....... I actually thought it was a great night out - Posted from rhpmobile
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uptomischief
9 years ago
We go to that club regularly and we always try to speak to most people in the club unless negative vibes are given to us. We only knew one couple on arrival however we are friends with all of them now because of their positive, friendly and inviting attitude. Maybe the attraction wasn't there and therefore positive interactions didn't occur for you. The group was not cliquey at all. We met some great people, hi unicorn hunters, PEN9..., L8RD8 and Hotcpl_au. We did not know any of them before the night but we do now. Despite what you say we did not dominate the back room. Many people including another couple and two singles were in there. I think you had already locked yourself in a room by that stage with a single male so I understand your mister's disappointment of not getting involved with a lady. Sex is not guaranteed at the clubs, they are not brothels. Besides anyone is welcome in the back room where we played as it has no door for that reason. I had a chat to several couples when I found something that intrigued me. We play in a world where you have to make an effort to meet people. I don't recall you talking to us at all and I didn't see you talk to others much either. I said hello to your mister, he said hi back and that was that. You may not have found me attractive and so did not approach me, I can accept that. Nevertheless, we love that club. I fear that you have just insulted a good portion of their clientele because the people in that so called cliquey group go there regularly. Sorry you had a bad night but let's not blame others. We were pleased to see you dressed in the spirit of the night, that's great, but if that party had not been there, the theme might have been something else. No need to say silly stuff like "shouldn't have a party there on a theme night", the party WAS the theme night We should not make negative judgements towards others as everyone plays differently. Perhaps adopting a change in approach when going to a club next time will help You have a more enjoyable night.
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hotcpl_au
9 years ago
It was our second time at a swingers bar we didn't know anyone, we got into the atmosphere spoke to people, and loved how the night turn out. How you act and mingle with people is how your night will turn out. Remember you are there to enjoy the time with your partner, if there is no chemistry with anyone else, still enjoy the journey with your love one. Dance, have a few drinks, have some fun not just play pool.
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Paradisepair
9 years ago
Perhaps without the 'private' party there would have only been 8 couples there... The whole thing about this scene is that you should never have expectations, and certainly never expect predictable behaviour from anyone. If people have established or even new connections, then as those on the outside it's not worth wasting energy feeling rejected or excluded.
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RHP User
9 years ago
People that are shy, can appear standoffish and arrogant?? Quite often it's a protection mechanism designed to deflect ones nerves. I could be aiming for the moon and I'm hitting Saturn instead here as I don't know anyone.... I just know that I don't meet people easily and I too come across in the same way....though some people deserve the cold shoulder most don't :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
As I keep repeatedly saying. I had a fantastic night. I got what I came for. I'm talking from what my husband and I saw plus a few of the other quieter ones. I played 3 games of pool? Is that against the play rules now? I would rather have fun, laugh my ass off at how badly I suck at pool when I feel bad vibes. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Fwiw. But I doubt anyone will actually read and take this in. I'm an incredibly shy person. I don't dance so I play pool to calm my nerves. After my first game and getting the instant horrible vibe it really put the place down. That my opinion. Of myself - Posted from rhpmobile
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
Before I dip our toes in ,what is the difference between, shy and appearing ,standoffish and arrogant ,wearing resting bitch face compared to introvert , surrounded by extroverts , - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
And a problem I suffer from but I understand how I can come across so would never call anyone out for not interacting because it's probably I reflection of me ( even if it is unintended) Great post thou very entertaining for a Tuesday morning - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
9 years ago
Lol laughing from the side lines, watching the " he said she said" bitching of fragile egos unfold. We have been to several clubs in and around Melbourne . We were always polite to others and never infringed on their space. If and when we played it was always in private and always only if we were invited to play. We generally kept to ourselves. We have seen some bizarre & unpleasant things happen at swingers clubs ..... We rarely go to clubs anymore . Just too stressful and too much trouble to "wade through all the bullshit". We would rather meet up with people we know, than complete strangers. And get to know them first, lay down boundaries if any and that way ensure everyone was on the same page. A more intimate venue is, we feel, much nicer.
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RHP User
9 years ago
OP it seems you are upset because people didn't behave the way you wanted them to. Your night is what you make of it. Perhaps next time a more positive approach will allow you to enjoy yourself regardless of what others are doing.
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hotcpl_au
9 years ago
This topic is funny it keeps draging on better than a novel. To all of you out there, in our opinion the night was great not to many people but everyone very approachable. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Dynamic. Completely agree. I'm a quiet person in public and I felt that we were made to not feel welcome within 30mins of being there cos we weren't part of this divorce party. I had no interest in playing with them at all. Just wasn't my think. My point I'm trying to get across is don't walk in thinking you own the place cos you organised it. I stayed back and didn't interact with this group as when you get a vibe that's not nice you go into a mode to protect yourself and that exactly what I did. Protected myself and kept my distance Friendz. I think it was you that said that I might not find you attractive. I personally do not ever go on looks. I go on personalities. I didn't notice you Saturday night so I am sorry. Tbh only notices this group and plus our friends there. Bazingal. That is completely not the case. They choose that way to behave. I'm just trying to give an outsiders view and how behaviours that make others feel horrid are - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
it was a slow start, but everyone really brought out their A game to turn this into a memorable thread - some particular favourites of mine were the delayed posts that only showed up after others had commented. Stealthy. I don't know who was shy, who was standoffish, or who was and wasn't attracted to who - but I don't see why groups of people can't go out and just enjoy their own company if they choose (or why the behaviour complained about would be any better or worse at a regular night club/bar).
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RHP User
9 years ago
No matter what the circumstances there will be disappointments.Hope for everything.expect nothing Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
Fucken licorice all sorts of emotions that night.... But the overwhelming main tone was an awesome one....and I didn't really play with anyone in terms of actually having sex with them.... I'd so do that again - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Wow ! Thanks guys that was extremely entertaining reading over my morning coffee . Miss Jade ... 2 words GEN WHY ? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Well well Stirry. What did you do with the licorice? Do tell! I am not sure if I should reveal why I am also known as CandyDelicious on this forum, but it involves a chocolate starfish and some rainbow skittles. Hmmm I think I could down a licorice stick at the same time. :p lololol
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uptomischief
9 years ago
Not sure it was a bad vibe. Did anyone give you dirty looks? What happened to cause your concern? People may have been preoccupied with meeting others on the guest list they had already messaged or spoken to. Next time you go to an event, message a few of the people on the guest list and say hi. The guest list system is flawed and most did not show but I knew three people on there and they had legitimate excuses for not showing up. You gotta network baby, quiet ones don't get to play as much.......
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RHP User
9 years ago
Summer and darker, if I knew what he meant I would of course have a come back. Lol There is nothing wrong with doing this while im young. Means I get more time to play and get to make more connections! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think we all need to be aware that safety / comfort in others, we have been at clubs when we didn't know anyone and having people you know to talk to just makes the experience a bit more relaxed
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RHP User
9 years ago
I bet you could :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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DonnaBrett
9 years ago
One of the reasons that we haven't been to any clubs for probably two years (except last year in New York but that was to see how they worked) . It seems that more and more people go to just drink and dance or whatever. "IF" play happens it often occurs so late in the night and we've lost interest by then LOL. If a bunch of friends want to play just do it at home or a hotel. If your intention is to hopefully meet and play with new people some of the many house parties are the best option and better value for money (if there's a cost at all) . We used to love the clubs but there they have definitely changed in comparison to say 15 years ago. In regards to your side note about people showing interest in private events.... it seems some click interest as if it's the 'Like' button on facebook. They never really intend going.
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Seachange73
9 years ago
Quoting 'DonnaBrett' One of the reasons that we haven't been to any clubs for probably two years (except last year in New York but that was to see how they worked) . It seems that more and more people go to just drink and dance or whatever. "IF" play happens it often occurs so late in the night and we've lost interest by then LOL. If a bunch of friends want to play just do it at home or a hotel. If your intention is to hopefully meet and play with new people some of the many house parties are the best option and better value for money (if there's a cost at all) . We used to love the clubs but there they have definitely changed in comparison to say 15 years ago. In regards to your side note about people showing interest in private events.... it seems some click interest as if it's the 'Like' button on facebook. They never really intend going. I get your point and understand the evolving culture of clubs as you have experienced it from 15 years ago to the present. But like anything, the culture of clubs or bars or any social gathering is dictated by the tastes and needs of its patrons, however shape or form it comes in. Businesses adapt to changes in social norms (e.g. divorce parties were unheard of a few years ago) and swingers clubs are just that, a business. I am not sure why the OP or anybody would need to be told where to take their party or how to hold it. They are adults and I believe that as long as they adhere to the club regulations, fine by me. I can not say how they behave is acceptable or not to me, as I was not present to witness it. And my expectations of behaviours in clubs in not written in stone. If people want to play that night, with their friends or new friends, or just be a voyeur, why shouldn't they be there? Why should they be precluded from being in the club and banished to a private houseparty or such? That would be condescending? I have been to several clubs here and interstate and played or just watched, depending on my mood that night. I should not be told to leave the club for not licking cream off someone's ass or suck a cock that night. We sometimes have preconceived ideas of what and how a club should operate and setting some expectations, real or unrealistic, can only be met with disappointment as playing on the night is dictated by the mood of the attendees, company we keep or anything else. It seems both sides of the fence have 'valid' experiences as it happened to each one of them. I think we just need to put this down to experience and hopefully, all will get a better experience next time. And Jade, happy divorce day.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks! Haha I had a great night and could not of thought of a better way to celebrate! Lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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DonnaBrett
9 years ago
With all due respect...I think you took my comment a little out of context...or maybe my comment wasn't worded right..my bad. It wasn't intended as telling people where they should or shouldn't go as such. It's a free world after all. It was just an opinion and an observation of the club scene nowadays and how it has changed and to our tastes it's no longer appealing. The OP was talking of not understanding the 'clique' aspect with "some" people to the point of kind of pushing other people out. All good... happy swinging!
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Seachange73
9 years ago
Quoting 'DonnaBrett' With all due respect...I think you took my comment a little out of context...or maybe my comment wasn't worded right..my bad. It wasn't intended as telling people where they should or shouldn't go as such. It's a free world after all. It was just an opinion and an observation of the club scene nowadays and how it has changed and to our tastes it's no longer appealing. The OP was talking of not understanding the 'clique' aspect with "some" people to the point of kind of pushing other people out. All good... happy swinging! My apologies as I may have read that incorrectly as i have highlighted it. Thanks for the clarification. No dramas.
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RHP User
9 years ago
where and what club is this we want to come
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RHP User
9 years ago
People take what they want from swinging clubs, maybe they aren't your thing... I've been a few times previously and always had fun. Mayve a theme night isn't for you, try on a quieter night to get a feel for more intamacy :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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D_Light
9 years ago
& These are the days of YOUR lives??? Seriously you can not bag me for the only time Home & Away has ever been on TV at mine ever again...I DONT watch it but you've like 4 of this childish bickering. i hope this gets liked by you too unowho
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's club whispers on the Gold Coast. It's an awesome new club! I love it! - Posted from rhpmobile
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TheScorpions
9 years ago
We love whispers as well Jade ...always a goodnight there.
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peteranick223
9 years ago
Have to agree , I've experienced this with my partner ,clicks of people who are rather rude and elitist , or there were the single males just walking up to you and asking to fuck you , needless to say never been back to that place
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RHP User
9 years ago
what an interesting selection of points of view. With the weather warming up as it is, can i suggest that the persons with the highest adventure spirit, but with the lowest ego's cum out sailing some time. Out on the water is a great place to play ..... C
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