F44

Consent: It’s Not a Negotiation

April 20 2025

Honestly, it’s wild this even needs saying. Consent isn’t a grey area. We’re grown — this should be locked in by now. So let’s be clear: no means no. Not “maybe try again in 5 minutes”, not “convince me”, and definitely not “she’s playing hard to get.” If someone gives you a verbal or physical no, take it as a full stop — not an opening to wear them down. Consent isn’t a puzzle to solve or a game to win. It’s about mutual respect and enthusiastic yeses — anything less isn’t sexy, it’s sketchy. And while we’re here: if a woman asks you to wear a condom, that’s not a cue to start your anti-rubber TED Talk. No one wants to hear it. Wrap it before you tap it. No glove, no love. Dont be a fool, wrap your tool. Slip it on or zip it up. Pick your favourite — the message is the same. Consent is sexy. Respect is hot. If you’re not up for playing by those basic standards, then maybe you’re not ready to play at all.

Comments

FeistyFatty

one year ago

Yikes. Are you ok?

reply

like
RHP User

one year ago

We’ve had a player only one that was told there would be no anal and he tried repeatedly so guess what never got an invite for round two

reply

like
MsSuperFoxy

one year ago

Grown adults do understand consent, but choose not too. Grown adults do understand about safe sex/protection and choose not too. The amount of people on here and in the community that do not understand NO means NO, is un-fucking-believable, terrifying and frightening. Ms Foxy

reply

like
RHP User

one year ago

This also applies to sending unsolicited dick pics and sex videos without permission! Just don't do it unless asked, it's not only courtesy it is illegal! I instantly report and block these

reply

like
Alex_Lover

one year ago

Sooo true, I've heard from a number of lovely ladies who were aghast & disgusted, when a solid NO to a guy was interpreted as the start of a negotiation, to get a yes. Such abhorrent behaviour 🤮 - Alex.

reply

like
nightingale8

one year ago

I wonder if it’s a generational divide. Just a hunch. Think those who were brought up in a sea of John Travolta characters as in Grease. As long as it came with a great jingle it was ok. Most younger guys have been beaten over the head so much with consent that it’s lost its meaning. As a broad stroke, consent works easier when men set the parameters of the space and the women are free to choose and move within that (and leave if they want to). When there are no parameters set and both parties are stuck at the beginning still negotiating, men get bored/confused and women get irritated/feel unsafe. I think a lot of men don’t know how to act (they know but they don’t know). Unfortunately it then means some take it way too far and trample over their would be partner for the evening. My approach is that’s it’s ok for someone to ask, or hint, or suggest. And it’s ok for me to say no and say it clearly. If it happens again that’s it and there’s no going back. Mid conversation, mid thrust, it doesn’t matter 😅 That might be unfair but it’s not worth my safety. Don’t get angry, just move away. There’s most certainly a place for words and emotions but with disrespect I try not to feed too much with either. Just for a bit of counter experience, I haven’t found men push past my boundaries. It’s not a thing. What that has to do with I actually don’t really know

reply

like
RHP User

one year ago

It's a no brainier. No intention of making a rash statement that someone may get offended by, BUUUT old school values are a very hard thing to find these days and it's a shame cos respect is the main part of the whole thing. The experience you have had should never have happened . And it's not just women who have these things happen. I personally opened a door for a woman in the Crown complex, and as she passed by the open door, she slapped my face, saying she didn't need a man to open a door for her. Poor her, I say,and I have a lot more examples, but I won't go on. So we all should be a bit more thoughtful of what we say and do

reply

like
selfless__lover

one year ago

100% and if it is not an enthusiastic yes then it's a no. Consent can also be withdrawn so sometimes checking in on your playmate with a "Are you ok", "Are you enjoying yourself" or "Are you still comfortable with this" can help make sure there is no misunderstanding.

reply

like
Sawadee

one year ago

Because of the way we were bought up , consent was never a issue and definately not negotiable ... You know if youre compatable or not by the way you communicate.. and its a 2 way street.. How anyone would want to persist after a definate no is beyond me ? Who wants a one sided encounter ? Not me.. Until highlighted here, its hard to believe these guys even exist ... Probally because they can and remain gutless and faceless.. Cmon guys lift your act...

reply

like
The_Milkman

one year ago

Consent isn’t just sexy, it’s the ultimate turn-on. There’s nothing hotter than someone who knows boundaries, respects them, and still brings that confident, cheeky energy. And if a woman asks you to wrap it up? That’s not a debate, that’s a golden ticket to keep playing. No glove, no love, baby - and if you do it right, trust me, she won’t be thinking about the rubber 😝

reply

like
privatebutterfly

one year ago

Consent in conversation is often ignored too! My profile clearly states my boundaries, yet I still receive messages from men who fall outside of these, but either think they're somehow the exception to the rule or that they can talk me into changing my mind. The same applies when messaging and saying no to something (whether it's to continue talking, send nudes, exchange numbers, meet up), and then having them try to whinge, cajole or bargain in an attempt to get what they want anyway. I mean, if you can't acknowledge that you don't meet a stated criteria, or accept a no in conversation, why would a woman have any reason to believe that you will respect her boundaries in a physical meeting? What exactly are you hoping to achieve?

reply

like
Wetleg

one year ago

Thank you for posting this. I’ve had a few… situations where I’ve gaslit myself into thinking did I imply I wanted that? A hard smacked ass, and I just stood silent. I’m still looking for the neon sign….

reply

like
AussieKisser

one year ago

Yes agree, No means no

reply

like
SweetSerenade

one year ago

We've experienced breach of consent from females more than males in lifestyle. There's some not used to being rejected we suppose 🤷 We've found the safest space is in lifestyle clubs. Where anyone breaching consent or pushing boundaries will be kicked out. It's a shame these bad situations still occur. Consent should be discussed, freely given, retractable, and ongoing in a lifestyle environment. This extends to personal space and socializing when someone has made it clear they don't want to interact with you. It's a good thing to bring these topics up as consent should always be discussed whether there's a problem or not. We believe conversations about consent should be fun positive enthusiastic and exciting before moving things to another level. As far as safer sex goes it's interesting this app has multiple options around safe sex as it should be a default mandatory in everyone's mind. We always supply Skyns as they're non latex and perfect for everybody.

reply

like

Consent: It’s Not a Negotiation

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help