DADT - Don't ask don't tell open relationships

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  RHP User

  11 months ago

  From what I know DADT is a bad idea. And used as a cover by people cheating on their partner. Yes being together for the family and sex on the side is known for lots of reasons. But at least it’s agreed. I met one woman who said it was ok with her husband and her. Then one night she went to bed and smelt perfume on the pillow. Crossed a line

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  RHP User

  11 months ago

  I have not had experience with this but I know a few who have and it generally spelled trouble for them. Like Funtoo says "used as a cover by people cheating on their partner". My friends have had run ins with husbands who were not aware of their partners playing around. So I would definitely stay well away from any lass stating DADT.

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  nightingale8

  11 months ago

  We started out with a sort of DADT arrangement. It’s was a gateway into where we are now. I wasn’t going to lie about my activities and it was a negotiation but if the other isn’t interested in knowing the details it’s a bit cruel to drag them through that. Now that boundaries and expectations are established things are very openly discussed with relish but still require regular discussions and agreements on what’s ok and not ok. I wouldn’t dare to bring someone home without his knowledge and leave cologne on his pillow for example, that’s very disrespectful. Broadly speaking I think DADT can work for those who work hard on the relationship though probably not for long. It wasn’t the pathway I would have chosen at all! All said, I wouldn’t start seeing a guy in a DADT arrangement for all the obvious reasons. Women work a lot harder at home to keep things together and everyone happy and don’t tend to lie as much at the outset (broad generalisation I know). This is based on what I’ve seen. I’m not interested in causing others heartache. I’d be more ok seeing a woman in DADT if I were that way inclined

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  HotWifeUnicorn

  11 months ago

  I don't like having anything to do with cheaters, there's a lot of trust you have to give to a random stranger who says they've got a DADT arrangement. My husband asked me to record a short video saying he had my full permission... Not because we are DADT but because we're polyamorous and his dating pool was overlapping into our real world.

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  FeistyFatty

  11 months ago

  We've had a successful open marriage for close to 16 years now and have seen so many couples fall apart with this approach. Proceed with caution. We have both found the openness and sharing the sheer naked truth of all our interactions to be a bigger appeal than the interactions themselves.

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  Andrea_Sydney

  11 months ago

  We started out with the don’t ask don’t tell model. That worked well for us for the time. We moved to only playing together. Not because of any issues though, just a development in our personal relationship with each other. So from my perspective, don’t ask don’t tell is an acceptable model, and we are an example of where it certainly wasn’t code for wanting to cheat.

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  fendt

  11 months ago

  Our open marriage requires each of us meeting and giving our bless to who we wish to spend time with.. preferably a married individual or couple This can be off putting for some …

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