M49 F49
Family Reaction to RHP Lifestyle
December 26 2013
Comments
-
RHP User
12 years ago
mrs here4fun told her sister about it 5 years ago as they told each other most things and her sister even joined up to another adult dating site for a while but then met a very judgemental boyfriend about 2 months later and cancelled her membership ,fair enough we thought until one day when we went to Melb for a play date and got mrs here4funs mum to babysit , the judgemental boyfriend who didn't like our lifestyle choice talked mrs here4funs sister into telling her mum what we were doing while leaving the kids with her .We came home to a barrage of questions which we denied of course but to no avail ,we were branded swingers and disgusting buy the mother and sister thank god it didn't get out of the family home we even dropped off the site and gave the lifestyle away as a knee-jerk reaction for a few months .After a few months we joined up again but still get questioned even to go to melb for business on a day trip and when we do play we had to find another babysitter as well We still don't talk to the offending sister and the relationship with her mother has never been the same since But on the bright side Mrs here4fun isn't so paranoid about what happens if mum finds out although we still don't want it to come to a head again. But most people who know us wouldn't guess that we play ect and after the reaction with mrs here4funs mother we don't want to try it
-
Cheekyarses
12 years ago
Well funny you should post this forum... I have 4 extremely close female friends that I try and catch up with maybe once a week, once a month etc - anyway, at our Christmas get together last Sunday we are having coffee at our favourite coffee shop and one of the the girls looks at me and asked, ' please don't be offended by this question, but do you have an open marriage?' So I looked at her and said 'yes'.... The whole room went silent and then they said' 'we knew it'! And they are all cool with it! Some didn't agree with it, but they respect my decision n that this is my life! And I love having friends like this who accept me n my choices!! Many ppl would like to be in a relationship where they can talk openly n honestly and if they wish to open their marriage it should be at least talked about instead of a straight out no! Just my opinion .
-
RHP User
12 years ago
And here's an interesting answer for you My ex husband cheated on me for years and I recently found out that the majority of his family members knew but never said anything to me. Since we separated in January and I discovered this lifestyle his family seem to have outcasted me I found out yesterday that they have somehow found out about my choices and have chosen not to accept me anymore yet they could condone him cheating with his brothers wife for years??? Go figure!! - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Cheekyarses
12 years ago
Jayjay - hold your head high n don't stoop to their level! So you are living a life that you enjoy - more power to you!!
-
Paradisepair
12 years ago
We're going to tell them at some point, my parents were probably doing key parties in the 70's, but one of my sisters is very conservative. But I've never worried about what she thinks anyway, funnily enough about 6 months before we decided to try out the lifestyle she was telling me about a friend of hers who had broken up with his wife. This woman had forced him to be there while she had sex with other men, and could I imagine how disgusting that was? Well I was far from disgusted, and now reckon there was more than watching and no forcing going down...
-
RHP User
12 years ago
People are all different so to hard atopic to give a thought.sorry
-
RHP User
12 years ago
You live but one life so do what makes you happy
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Wow.....I'm shocked.... My family including my parents know. My brothers couldn't give a toss, my parents asked "what for??" Now, most of you know, if you're male, female, white, brown, yellow or brindle, you're going to get treated the same. So in my normal diplomatic way I replied "cos I can....cos I get to fuck someone else's wife while her husband watches....cos I like being tied up. Teased. Blindfolded while two women fuck my brains out then turn on each other. Cos I love to watch my partner/fuck buddy/FWB get fucked like sexual goddess that she is.....Not that I need YOUR blessing, approval or permission. I'm an adult and my choices are mine, and quite frankly I don't give a flying fuck what you think about it.....any questions?? :)" "That's disgusting Christopher" was mums reply. "I'm not asking you to join in mum. I'm not holding a gun to your head saying you have to like it so shut the fuck up with your judgemental shit. It's my life not yours. Any real questions?" Silence...... For the record, yes I respect my mother, and father, and yes I love them dearly. However, she's quite profoundly judgemental on everything I have done in my life, so when I decided to tell them I had to be on the front foot and quite aggressive. My older brothers girlfriend is quite interested in the lifestyle for curiosity only and not for participative purposes. I've shown her the forums on my phone, the topics etc. she's very accepting of everyone like my brothers are. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Its quite funny the reaction that you get. My ex was the one who told me about RHP, I joined and after that, he just absolutely hated me, I thought it was all funny until he hacked my other profile - that's why I shot it down. Started threatening me about going to the courts and taking my kids off me - pfft! As if! Of course, him thinking he has an "ammunition" told everyone! All his family and our mutual friends. Saddest part for me is that his sisters (I think of them as my sisters and we were very close) branded me with all kinds of names and had stopped talking to me. His mum and I (who were once very close) just started talking to each other again after almost 2 years. My siblings knows what I do, but being conservative christians, they don't agree with my choice but knows that it is my choice and not theirs. They wouldn't take the pompoms out and cheer me for it, but they know. I don't rub it in their faces either. All my friends know what I do, some live vicariously through me, for others, its just mehhh - I live my life based on my own values and morals - I am still me whether or not I fuck many people or just one person or just fuck myself. If other people have a problem with it, its their problem and not mine.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Except it's the neighbours. The ex cheated on me and they all love him, now I'm single I'm branded a slut? WTF? I'm sure the guy across the road is running an excel spread sheet on makes, models and rego numbers in my driveway. I'm playing it for all it's worth, even if I just have male friends visiting I put a show on in the driveway pretending they are lovers to increase my tally. Misogynistic bastards.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
It's the way to keep women down JayJay and MissK, I bet most people don't even realize they are doing it. You both just keep on having fun and let the fun police wallow in their own misery. 👎
-
Taby_DK
12 years ago
I swing with my partner and my mum and step father know about it. The only reason I told them is because we have such a good, open relationship and I knew that they would never judge me or make me feel like I was doing something wrong by engaging in swinging. To be completely honest they are more curious than anything and like to ask me questions about the lifestyle. Most of my friends also know that we swing and although some of them don't understand how we can share each other with other people they do not judge us or criticise. On the other hand my partner is a very private person and his family does not know about our activities but a few of his very close male friends do (the truth came out over male bonding beer time). I guess it depends on how open you are and the sort of relationship you have with your friends and family as to how much you tell them. There is no way I would ever tell my dad and step mum about my lifestyle as they are hardcore Christians and would NEVER understand. The topic of my bi-sexuality is similar but for some reason I find this harder to admit to than swinging. I have also been judged harsher for being bi-sexual rather than engaging in swinging, which I really don't get. Taby xx
-
RHP User
12 years ago
My mother would probably die of shock, my father would follow suit. They still think I am a virgin. My female friends would probably cut me out of their lives, save a few who might just be curious and my male friends would be accepting and possibly might change their demeanor around me. I can almost hear my mother saying 'have you considered therapy...maybe there's medication you can take....maybe you should move back home; when was the last time you went to church.... I could sense something is wrong' etc etc
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Others just know that I'm on a "dating site"... They wonder a bit... But I leave it at that... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
-
RHP User
12 years ago
I love it, I'm not quite at that point but I have had the "I'm an adult, I'm not hurting anyone, so leave me the F alone" conversation. It hasn't been discussed since, aside from some snide remarks here and there. It's not like I introduce anyone to my daughter or family so I can't see the problem but hey, I'm happy and they need to complain, so F it!!!
-
RHP User
12 years ago
I believe that as a single woman at least one person should know where I am in case I run into a situation I can't handle. She isn't judgemental in the least but does give me some good advice. My ex knows, it's what led to our initial separation. I would love to tell my ex in-laws just to give them the big FUCK YOU , seeming as I was never "good enough" for their son. In their narrow minded lives I would probably be considered as being a call girl. As for the everyone else, it's none of their business.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
If your happy then that's the most important thing. If people don't agree or can't handle it then fuckem I say. Especially the people who turn a blind eye to people cheating but when two people are consenting they have a fit .... WTF ?? Don't get that. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Funny post lol Well back in my stripper days I posed full nude in couple national mags (in my prime) some now mum was shown a copy lol n stuck the pics (with bandaids) on her fridge lmao... I do however come from a very odd family :))
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Yeah but Stir we are talking about people that actually do it... Not just dream about it. Lol. Just jokes! As far as I know, you don't actually do anything that outrageous do you?? You are on an online dating site, so what. You are a single guy. If you got married would you tell your parents and siblings that you wife goes out on dates other men while you sit at home and look after the kids.... Or whatever it is that floats your boat? Would you tell the neighbors? Chat about it at parent/teacher night? I find your lack of understanding when it comes to this really surprising.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
One of my friends knows that my boyfriend and I like to play with others and she just doesn't understand it. She can't see how it would be a turn on to have another person or people in bed with me and my guy. She needs to learn!!!!!!
-
RHP User
12 years ago
I love ur style and agree with ur turn of events as mines much the same story... Just don't add up hey but fuk em all they can eat shit as far as I'm concerned lol... I have my kids n that's all that matters to me :))
-
Tall74nHard9
12 years ago
Quoting 'JayJay_66' And here's an interesting answer for you My ex husband cheated on me for years and I recently found out that the majority of his family members knew but never said anything to me. Since we separated in January and I discovered this lifestyle his family seem to have outcasted me I found out yesterday that they have somehow found out about my choices and have chosen not to accept me anymore yet they could condone him cheating with his brothers wife for years??? Go figure!! - Posted from rhpmobile The old saying of blood being thicker than water comes to mind in your situation... Tall
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Bears no significance in my mind meeka regarding the activities that two people are consenting to. If I liked that before marriage/relationship why would I suddenly dislike it afterwards?? I realise that people's journeys change and why wouldn't it? But I think that a change of relationship status shouldn't have any impact on my kinks, fetishes. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
QLDtwo4fun
12 years ago
Society in general has double standards, a man cheating on his spouse is seen as more acceptable than a promiscuous woman. Our families would be shocked and would struggle with knowing we are swingers, as would many of our friends. Fortunately we have a small group of swinging friends who we get together with for drinks and fun conversations with regularly.
-
JohnAnn2227
12 years ago
We haven't told either of our families as the reaction would be too much to handle. When our families stumbled on us susunbaking nude at times at home that was enough of an event! John's mother still ribs me about burnt backside etc. Very funny... not. My cousin does know about us swinging and does not have a problem with it. She found out when she was baby sitting for us and I slipped down the stairs in platforms and was in a heap on the floor when she ran to help me. Of course my coat was open, my tiny dress was hitched up around my waist and it was clearly obvious that with stocking and no panties that we were not going to the movies. She basically said (after she realised I was ok) where are you really going and what are you up to. I told her and she was blown away but cool with it. She now enjoys regular updates. She was surprised with my bisexuality though.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'JohnAnn2227' We haven't told either of our families as the reaction would be too much to handle. When our families stumbled on us susunbaking nude at times at home that was enough of an event! John's mother still ribs me about burnt backside etc. Very funny... not. My cousin does know about us swinging and does not have a problem with it. She found out when she was baby sitting for us and I slipped down the stairs in platforms and was in a heap on the floor when she ran to help me. Of course my coat was open, my tiny dress was hitched up around my waist and it was clearly obvious that with stocking and no panties that we were not going to the movies. She basically said (after she realised I was ok) where are you really going and what are you up to. I told her and she was blown away but cool with it. She now enjoys regular updates. She was surprised with my bisexuality though. I laughed so hard after reading this, what a way to 'come out', haha
-
RHP User
12 years ago
We defiantly too scared to tell friends family. It makes it really hard to meet knowing a lot of people between us and coming from respected family's in our home areas if it was to get out we not sure what would be said so we just keep quiet about it as it also makes it more exciting?
-
RHP User
12 years ago
I would rather make it gradually obvious without telling my family directly, so when the time comes it will not be a surprise. And if asked I can always answer ;)
-
JohnAnn2227
12 years ago
Yes Nat27 we laugh about it now but at the time... I didn't know how to answer her. It was obvious we weren't going to dinner and possibly drinks/ movies later. I just had to basically 'fess up" and tell her we were going to a club in Sydney but it was different to most clubs and that it didn't mean we were freaks or perverts. She laughed at that but did push with what we were up to. She also asked me to either close my coat or put some panties on which was a great way for us to defuse a scary situation. The next day we went for coffee while John took the kids to the park and I told her everything. She was interested and respected our life decision and still babysits for us when needed. She did recommend not telling anyone else in the family though.
-
RHP User
12 years ago
It's funny this post came up.. I was thinking today I'd like to know how people deal with others knowing. My conservative sister kind of guessed that we enjoyed couple play and flat out asked me which really put me on the spot! We have friends that we've known a long time that we feel comfortable swapping with but it's not like we do it all the time. The first thing she said was that she isn't judgemental and that she's 'been there, done that' but only when she was single... She asked why we got married if we still wanted to fool around and 'how can you watch your husband with another woman' did come up. So much for non-judgemental hey?! I felt embarrassed & that I had to justify our lifestyle and choices. It's weird how society views marriage & commitment & she was shocked when I said that it had actually brought us closer & improved our sex lives! It's funny because historically everyone was fucking everyone & people seems more open about their sexuality.. Why have we gone backwards?! Society puts so much pressure on people & expects us to conform to social norms which is boring I say! I quickly tried to end the conversation with my sister & she finished by saying 'be careful as I'm only looking out for you & feelings & emotions can get involved & what if one person develops stronger feelings it will become real complicated' however it's probably the least complicated part of our lives & gives us something to share that we enjoy! Thoughts did come into my head like is there something wrong with me if I don't mind my husband being with another woman or is it wrong for me to enjoy the company of a female. Jealousy is something I've never really experienced with anyone, I get off on seeing my man pleasure another... Is that sick?! I don't know if we are going through an experimental phase & the novelty will wear off, but right now we are happy & loving our 'secret' I just hope my sister doesn't tell anyone else as that would be a real awkward dinner conversation!!
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Mr O_C here. None of our family or friends know and I'm not sure that any of them would handle it very well. Maybe some would learn to accept, but not like it. I suspect my family (and probably all our friends) would immediately assume it was Mrs O_C's idea. They'd be right of course. Which is why I'm so lucky to have her ;-) Mr O_C
-
RHP User
12 years ago
Neither scenario would be greeted well by family. Friends would, I would hope, be more accepting of Scenario 2. Although I'm realistic enough to see that not all that many people I know would understand why Scenario 1 (in my opinion) would be far more devastating and destructive to me than Scenario 2. . I had some real reactions though, a few years ago. It went down a little similar in some respects to the scene that here4fun71 described. Not well. Irrepairable damage was done to two of the most important relationships in my life and although water has flowed under that bridge, they won't ever be the same again. . Quoting 'Stir_it_alot' Bears no significance in my mind meeka regarding the activities that two people are consenting to. If I liked that before marriage/relationship why would I suddenly dislike it afterwards?? I realise that people's journeys change and why wouldn't it? But I think that a change of relationship status shouldn't have any impact on my kinks, fetishes. - Posted from rhpmobile . However, in keeping with what Stir A Lot suggests above, I cannot and would not suddenly change core beliefs and philosophies to meet with somebody else's ideals, especially if that someone was supposed to love me unconditionally the way a family member or good friend should. Naivety, ignorance and social conditioning often don't allow for people to step outside of their own personal moral code and perception of how they think life "should be lived". . A handful of my friends know. Those who do, respect my beliefs and my lifestyle and appreciate me for my open-mindedness, which they often benefit from in the course of our friendship. Not all of them necessarily understand or even support me, but nor do I seek validation from them anyway. . Flirty x
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15115 Comments: 88256
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10257
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2519 Comments: 11676
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9774
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1004 Comments: 5196
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5789
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1993
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 869
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share