How has the past shaped your attraction today?

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  PandaAndBri

  28 days ago

  Bri- The people I am attracted to has certainly changed over the years. Life experiences will colour your views on people and names and life.

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  nutsundae

  28 days ago

  Great thread. Love the way you so often make me stop and reflect on things I hadn't ever really thought about before. I might be the odd one out, but I don't think my taste or type has drastically changed over time. Sure, it's matured quite a bit (which is great, because one of us had to and I'm still kicking and screaming in resistance), but I don't think its fundamentally changed all that much. Personality and character are more important now than looks (which is still important. That might make me shallow, but I can't help it -it's true). Warm-hearted qualities such as kindness, compassion and empathy have gradually become very hot and desirable. That all feels more a refinement over time though, and not a 180 handbrake turn. Would most of the people I found attractive 30 years ago still get me hot under the collar today? Yeah, most. I think. I think maybe the biggest change for me is that I've gotten much better at recognising the attributes in people that attract me, as well as those that repel me. I'd like to think I'm also much more self aware in understanding why the things that are attractive to me, are. I certainly haven't got it all figured out though and don't always get it right. Not even sure if I would ever want that though.

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  nightingale8

  27 days ago

  I only know now from experience that attraction varies greatly according to what I’ve experienced last and enjoyed. Suddenly everyone who reminds me of that person is attractive and my preference changes. It’s all very theoretical in time and relatively short lived though. After a while I come back to the same “type” I tend to notice and orient towards. Maybe this “type” I was their housecat once upon a lifetime 🐈🙃

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  Notice_Me

  26 days ago

  Experience has taught me that physical attraction is only a small percentage of sexy as fuck Intellect, good conversation, positive vibrations, sparks, chemistry, EQ, sex positivity and energy. These are the ingredients for more orgasms and pvssy quivers 🐈‍⬛😜 Also if you look like Kim Basinger in LA Confidential, HMU immediately 🙏 intellect or interesting not required ... :)

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  RHP User

  26 days ago

  It’s definitely evolved as life has shifted and been shaped. My first foray onto Rhp 10 years ago was eye opening and I met many people with little vetting. I was also more social with events and private parties and went with the flow - tried, tested things and ideas. 10 years on it’s changed so much. I won’t even bother wasting my time with low effort profiles. I’ve fully embraced the fact I find intellect and curiosity to be 95% of what I’m attracted to. Plus my life priorities are different and not just in sex but life generally I tend to take more note of such people an and disregard those who don’t hit that level. I meet significantly less people but enjoy myself much more. I would assume with time most people begin to understand themselves and their types more acutely.

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  Temptress_T

  26 days ago

  I love this. For me on here I am looking for sexual attraction. In vanilla life the attraction can be very different. I like to have a face pic of the person I am engaging with on here. Firstly for me the attraction is physical. I dont like to waste peoples time if they are not physically attractive to me, secondly it is their engagement with me in pm that adds to the attraction. I am not here looking for the love of my life (already have that), so I ideals on attraction will be different to to others. What I find physically attractive has moved over the years, I think this is like anything your tastes can change, if from a bad experiance or a good one. I have seen some stunning people on there and yet have no attraction to them at all as they do not engage me at the next level in PM. Lots will change attraction, not only physical looks but also things like validations, friends list and even a persons name. Love this post @Nightglider

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  mellocallad

  25 days ago

  Since becoming single, I know what I don't want again! I used to be all about the "trophy wife" the "10", but sadly they don't always have the type of personality one would say is attractive. Don't get me wrong, obviously there are many that have it all going. Now I focus on attitude to life and others, to the way they speak to me, the way they express themselves and are humble. I try to reflect those same values in the hope that the person I meet can value and enjoy our time together. I've been stung in the past, so this really does inform today's attitude compared to my younger dating life.

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  sublime

  25 days ago

  Attraction for me can be an energy, a way a person carries themselves, even watching how they play with another, Of course physical attraction comes into play too , but it’s not the be all and end all. I have been turned off many times by a person who is stunning in appearances but ugly on the inside.

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  selfless__lover

  24 days ago

  Well @nightglider you've heard all about my dating experiences here and in the vanilla world over the last couple of years and it's been a roller coaster but dramatically changed what I am attracted to. I always went for traditionally good looking women and was so shallow I prioritised looks over all else, leading to some pretty unhappy relationships (some would say Karma or lessons I needed to learn). These days whilst physical attraction needs to be there, I place more emphasis on someone who my nervous system feels calm and relaxed around. People who share my sense of humour, my morals and values and who have the same goals in life. I haven't yet found them and so am happily single and enjoying the lifestyle but if someone amazing comes along who ticks all the boxes then that might change. I won't sacrifice my own happiness or peace though for someone who is "hot" anymore which took me years of growth to get to.

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  RHP User

  23 days ago

  My attraction has pretty much stayed the same however the men that I am attracted to have all always been very different looking to one another. I go for chemistry rather than a specific look in a man. Having said that I can tell who isn’t for me right away. I won’t date short men or dark men. I’m just not sexually interested in those types.

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  Zpaset

  14 days ago

  In short no, but my understanding of what I find attractive has definitely gained depth as I have gained experience. I am neurodivegent so spent a lot of time researching human behaviour and psychology in my 20s trying to understand myself and others. Sex was not commonly talked about before platforms like this so I read all the books I could find. Labels changed as I questioned myself am I pansexual or bisexual, demisexual or something else yet to be named. I'm basically attracted to people who are being themselves, if I can see a little of your personality like your interests or lifestyle it let's me know you slightly. dungarees and muddy boots, obscure Sci-Fi tattoo, a piercing that I know is painful to get, little things that give clues to potential shared interests. Weather I would like to become more intimate is by behaviour, how they treat me or value my time. I had one lady wanting to arrange a date so when I suggested going dancing on weekend I was told she loves the idea but works during the day weekends. I said I am free on Friday afternoon would you like a walk on the beach and we can get a coffee she said she that sounds lovely but she works Friday afternoons. No effort in finding a mutual time we could both make work, am I supposed to just keep guessing until I get it right? By then it felt like she wasn't actually interested, was making me work for it to test me or just playing silly games so I lost all attraction to her. Looks matter far less to me than just being kind, confident, friendly, intelligent and curious. Help me out and engage, I've walked away from objectively stunning ladies because they made me carry the conversation and work hard to noodle out a tiny nugget of information about themselves. If you are willing to meet, have good hygiene and actively listen and participate in the experience of getting to know each other then you are a 10 in my eyes. Phisical appearance is secondary. I'm not into young people (under 35) never have been even when I was one, gym/yoga bodies, ridiculously skinny or extremely overweight/unfit because they are usually indicators of personality. I have always liked experienced bodies that are lived in but looked after. My first experience was in my 20s with a crazy hippy lady I was working for. She was in her 60s and I was building a massive greenhouse at her property during the uni break. All day working in the sun then swimming naked in the cold rainforest river followed by hours of tantric fun with a beautiful eccentric woman with so many life experiences that she generously shared with me.

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