M40
Multiple Male Partners - Big Deal?
February 09 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'll be interested to hear guys thoughts on this. I've had multiple partners for several years now and i've always been honest and upfront about this with all concerned, both when i was married and now i'm single. My experience has been: - While i was married - no problems, maybe because they knew my primary relationship was my husband going into the arrangement. My husband was at ease with the arrangement and enjoyed sharing me. - Once i was single - i've often had the feeling that guys want the be "the only one." Only one has been honest enough to say "hey, i really don't want to share" not suprising that i didn't meet him on this site. Maybe it's because we've been playing for about 12 months now and over time you do develop some emotional attachment. So is it related to emotional attachment?? Or is it just male ego??
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cbdlivin
13 years ago
I find this a great subject and hopefully gets some nice honest responses. I never have had problems with non monogamous woman, and they are actually my preference. Of course this is one of the great double standards on how people view non monogamous men and woman. The situation where men can be seen as studs and woman as sluts, which is just insulting as knowing your sexuality and acting on it for men and woman should be just something you should be able to do without judgement, and hopefully with a lot of joy.I have found the case for men and woman that on a casual basis they like the non monogamous life but as soon as they get emotionally attached they want the monogamous relationship. I put this down more to upbringing than anything else, having been taught that when you get into the full on relationship it suddenly becomes monogamous.Of course you cannot change peoples upbringing and how they think, but as things have become more open I have noticed people challenge their own perceptions and change their own thinking on whether monogamy is really who they are and not just an expectation. I think in the end you will always have guys who have the perception they have fun with woman but the one they settle down with has to be monogamous. Of course the worst guys are the ones who are not monogamous but expect their partner to be and that is the worst double standard that keeps turning up.B
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RHP User
13 years ago
I always feel a bit awkward when asked how much 'fun' i've been having lately. I have a friend who I can't work out if is genuinely happy that I'm meeting some great people and making up for lost time (so to speak) or if there's another reason why he asks. There's also the ones that I've just begun chatting with, they ask the same thing then disappear when I tell them that I am meeting people and enjoying myself. I think that if you aren't prepared for the answer, don't ask. I don't ask my male friends because I just assume that they also have other playmates.
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RHP User
13 years ago
If my playmates have other playmates. I can only control what I do...so...unless my playmates want to tell me, then I don't ask.....because I simply don't care what they do or who they do....it's their issue to worry about....that said, I find it a little arousing to hear their stories and how turned on they were....
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RHP User
13 years ago
But mine. What I do or whom I do it with is not up for discussion. If the man does not like the fact that I dont come to him as a virgin...then maybe he had better practice absteinence as well. If he does not like the fact that I may sleep with another man tomorrow night...then maybe he had better check out his own behaviour. I have always lived by my rules. If someone is uncomfortable with that they may feel free to go find someone else to play with. I have often sat and helped my permanent play friends chose other women to play with and vice versa. No big deal!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hell I can just about juggle and balance my checking account I tend to play with one, one at a time..........this works for me........I can barely remember where I left my frigging car keys, let alone remembering everyones name at the crucial times !!!! But Im with Handmaiden My body my choice my business...........and if in time if I met someone awesome and things were great and we had THE TALk...then perhaps then we would then be exclusive with benefits............ but till then...............life is a smorgasbord...and even though I may be only nibbling at it one scooby snack at a time...............................you can always go back for more !!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't necessarily have a problem with it as long as there is an open and honest dialogue about it. I don't really want details but I want to know where I stand. I find It pretty hypocritical for a guy to not like a girl doing it if he's doing it himself, what's good for the goose is good for the gander I say.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Not an issue when it's casual, when I/we get attached and emotional I'm 1000% monogamous. So I expect the same. I'd rather 1 partner that really rocks my socks off rather than a lot who barely scratch the itch. That's what has worked to a certain extent previously and I'm sure with a minor tweak it'll work again for me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
let any potential lovers know that I am not a monogamous woman.Then they can choose whether or not that suits them and I don't give them any more details than that.
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RHP User
13 years ago
My version is similar. There are times when you don't care enough.....and times when you care too much. The challenge is having the significant other feel the same AND at the same moment. I have never played with anyone I care deeply about, but I have had a bloke who supposedly knew exactly what we were getting into.....bottle at the last minute because he couldn't bear to see me have fun. Notwithstanding that his previous girl wouldn't ever let him play with anyone but her and we were there to fulfil his stated aim. Honesty and communication......is still the key. Dear paint me..... I smile sweetly and answer.... Only seeing about 6 men this month and no one ever believes me. (That isn't to say its true...but it isn't just one) The blokes/men/lovers can sort of know exactly as much As they want to. I have a hear no evil who is aware but doesn't want to know. Another who would like gory details but I refuse to share the intimate details. That said.... The only constant in life is change and we need to be adult about it....and accept the good with the bad. As someone once said. Stop worrying about the destination and enjoy the journey..... Reputation ally, I don't want the world at large to know and certainly not in my professional life although I have met people on here that are in my profession. Discretion assured. My next reading might be about polyamory....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Mr cns here I want my wife to go out and play with as many guys as she likes, in all truth I tell her to do it. I would love to see my wife being pleasured by 10 to 15 guys at once, see for me this is the ultimate fantasy even more than being with two females. And I know that a shit load of people cannot understand that, but that's the way I am.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'cnsfelswat' Mr cns here I want my wife to go out and play with as many guys as she likes, in all truth I tell her to do it. I would love to see my wife being pleasured by 10 to 15 guys at once, see for me this is the ultimate fantasy even more than being with two females. And I know that a shit load of people cannot understand that, but that's the way I am. Boy do I have the party for you! Wall to wall cocks. OMG!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Let's hear from some men.....the ladies have offered their opinions....- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
I don't disclose...I don't ask others either...It really is not up for discussion. I don't care about numbers.. I care about how people treat me when they are with me. SuperFox - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'cnsfelswat' Mr cns here I want my wife to go out and play with as many guys as she likes, in all truth I tell her to do it. I would love to see my wife being pleasured by 10 to 15 guys at once, see for me this is the ultimate fantasy even more than being with two females. And I know that a shit load of people cannot understand that, but that's the way I am. Boy do I have the party for you! Wall to wall cocks. OMG!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
I may ask about meetings with other guys, what it was like, what did you do, etc, but that's because I'm just a curious guy, lol. But I don't judge and when I'm with a playmate, I just want to give her as much pleasure as she can hold.And then maybe a little bit more
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Shinasbabe27' Hell I can just about juggle and balance my checking account I tend to play with one, one at a time..........this works for me........I can barely remember where I left my frigging car keys, let alone remembering everyones name at the crucial times !!!! But Im with Handmaiden My body my choice my business...........and if in time if I met someone awesome and things were great and we had THE TALk...then perhaps then we would then be exclusive with benefits............ but till then...............life is a smorgasbord...and even though I may be only nibbling at it one scooby snack at a time...............................you can always go back for more !!! You mean I am suposed to ask their name? whats wrong with Honey? you know me kiddo, I just cant remember and I dont have to remember, I am old and getting foggy at times as for numbers, my lovers know they are not flying solo, I also share them with my female friends so no complaints at all. then I pick guys with a few clues when it comes to being liberated with stupid sexual codes of todays world women have not come that far at all with this stupid stuff were still sluts if we sleep with more than three men before we marry. makes me laugh that men marry the nice girls and then they go looking for women like me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I absolutely cannot STAND the guys who call me up at all hours of the day expecting me to drop everything and meet them right then and there. I just end up ignoring my phone and letting it ring out those times - do they really expect me to be hanging onto my phone, waiting for them to call?I'm always perfectly honest with the people who ask me and I'll tell them how it is - I don't see the point in covering it up, and if they have a problem, it's their issue, not mine. A sex friend has to accept that that's all they are - a sex friend, and have no claim or hold over me, just as I don't them. However, if they wanted to make it monogamous, then sure, I'm up for discussing the potential for it. I just hate that grimace that comes over guy's faces when they ask me the 'how much fun are you having' question - if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask!
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RHP User
13 years ago
she can barely remember my name or my phone number !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
When I was a young lass I had a reserve bench, some of them mates, and none of them minded. Does it change as you get older, I wouldn't think so? It would have to all come down to emotional attachment.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Some things are easy.Any man who holds onto ridiculous double standards of wanting to behave like a Casanova but only respect women who are chaste is a dinosaur who needs to let go of mamma's apron strings and get with the program. Indeed, any man who judges anyone else for their choices is a relic.But other things are more complicated. Sometimes its nice 'not to know' - that kind of disconnect gives freedom to both parties. Other times, its fun to know - it can be hot to share intimate secrets. But where it gets tricky is when the lines get blurred and the emotions start to foment, sometimes before you even realise it. Then its time for talking.
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singlewood
13 years ago
CarntRemember AFuckingThingpmslhave a great day
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