M54
Our genetic gene's
May 13 2019
Comments
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
It is deceitful being here without your wives knowledge. You might want to change your status from single to married. Please do not blame DNA genes on being open mined about filling fantasies/kinks. Many people/couples who swing, and those who have various lovers (IE singles), do so well because they have open honest communication. It is called being respectful to one's self and others. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Poor guy his 1st post maybe the last after been curified for his thoughts.
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Libertine001
7 years ago
Unfortunately you might have in invest in a sex robot.
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Maybe you and Tomato Sorcery need to team up to MythBust all of your "theories" 😋
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RHP User
7 years ago
I can totally sympathise with this, it’s a tough situation to be in when you and the person you love don’t share the same ideas about something so major. Unfortunately I don’t have any advice but the way I see it you have 3 options; tell her everything and ask for permission to go exploring, forget the idea completely or go behind her back. You’re probably not going to get her on board so maybe you need to seriously consider just how important this is to you and if it’s worth risking what you have to achieve your sexual desires. I don’t envy you at all...good luck with it all. P.S. I highly doubt sexual freedom of expression and generosity is in our genes but you never know...
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RHP User
7 years ago
TDH, I had a good chuckle at the sex doll comment, I probably should have added that to my list of options 😂
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RHP User
7 years ago
My Gens are not Aussie 😂
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RHP User
7 years ago
Looking for excuses to cheat. If your urges are that strong then why not tell her and then you can both move on and be happy. She doesnt deserve someone hell bent on ticking off a fucket list behind her back.
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EarthQueen
7 years ago
I empathise somewhat Monogamy isn’t for everyone and I think sometimes it’s unrealistic to expect one person to meet all of your needs in a relationship forever. It’s also a lot of pressure on both when this doesn’t happen. I got no answers for what you should go except talk to your wife about how you are feeling. You’ll probably get slammed for it though. Most people aren’t happy or even consider possibility of an open relationship. But you can always try. If you cheat and get caught it’s pretty dismal for both of you. There’s a good chance it will do irrevocable damage. Way better to be open about your thoughts, maybe worth taking the risk?
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RHP User
7 years ago
OP there's the usual kerfuffle that goes on when a man posts that he is straying. Somehow that same kerfuffle doesn't seem to occur quite so much when a woman states she is doing the same. All that aside, it sounds as if you are never going to be happy with your current predicament (and many would argue it is not a predicament at all). You have to decide whether you truly want to set out down the path you are looking to, with all the attendant risks of being caught and whether you could handle your wife leaving you should she find out (and the odds are at least reasonable that she will both find out and if she does it's highly likely she will leave you). I do feel sympathy for those in a sexless relationship wanting to stray, but this is not you. If you want more than she is prepared to give you sexually, you may have to decide if you are going to stay with her or leave. It can be hard for some staring down the barrel of vanilla sex the rest of your life. Be warned if you choose to leave though - once you've fucked your way to kingdom come (and that may not actually happen, rendering the whole exercise pointless) you may one day decide it wasn't worth it.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Your warning reminds me of someone. When I worked offshore, one of the guys I worked with was a self professed ladies man. He had a lovely wife who he adored, but told everyone the sex had got boring. Every time he flew to the city the night before going to the rig, he would shag as many women as he could possibly fit in. He boasted about it all the time, and this went on for around 2 years. Inevitably, his wife found out. He got home after a 2 week stint and she had moved out. He didnt know where she was, and her family werent telling him. He came back next time a broken man. Ive never seen such a sad and remorseful guy. But it was his own doing, all for a few cheap thrills. If sex is becoming more important to you than making your relationship work, then you have no right to ruin someone elses life. Be honest, and take it from there. But dont cheat on your partner thinking she wont find out.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Have found a monogamy gene but it's not a gene that is common to all and the sample was quite small ,only 586. A few years ago they found a non monogamy gene but it was only in women.Once again not all women. It was once thought that because some birds mate for life that they were monogamous but now scientist say that is not always the case but those birds that hare the rearing of chicks and are in a pair are "social monogamists." A few years ago Dan Savage coined the term"monogamish".which describes couples who embrace this lifestyle. An excellent book on this subject is Sex At Dawn by Ryan and Jaffa.It goes into great detail about the pre historic origins of human sexuality and talks about many different cultures and their attitudes and sexual practices. The reason why western humans originally adopted the practice of marriage was to do with property,not religion and even today that remnant remains in the wedding ceremony when the father gives away the daughter..she is property. I sympathise with the situation you are in OP but as others have said you have a decision to make ,I hope it is the right one for you. Good luck Hugs Q
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RHP User
7 years ago
Great post mythbuster, ask away and have no shame. That's the beauty of being an individual person everyone is different and it's refreshing hearing others point of view. You may very well be correct, our DNA is basically like a code which contains genetic material but some scientists believe it can store knowledge too which explains natural instincts. Generation through generation more genetic material is passed down through DNA, so it's quite possible if your ancestors were into swinging that could be passed down through DNA. At least that's what science says
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
When I go into my next appoinment I am going to ask my professor if DNA has a gene for monogamous and polygamous people, and if it is related or passed down. Be interesting. Ms Foxy
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BombTom
7 years ago
I empathize with you Denning, It sounds like this is out of a long period of frustration, But let's see...which traits in people do I admire. Deceptive, inconsiderate, cheat, selfish, hurtful. Hmm, not so good. Truthful, open, considerate, brave, honest. Yeah, not bad at all. How do you want people to see you? How do you want to see yourself? Because your actions will determine that.
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RHP User
7 years ago
To all thank you for your thoughts I appreciate your time. I apologize if I've upset anyone but I appreciate and will take note to all opinions
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RHP User
7 years ago
Nothing to do with genes. Possibly how u are raised and life experience . It's a big step from fantasy to having a real experience. It's not for everyone and the grass is not always greener for some.
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RHP User
7 years ago
In most cases the grass it totally dead on the other side.lol.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Is that there is indeed a gene for monogamy. All the articles I saw are from earlier this year and I have chosen one to copy and paste here for further info. Interesting reading... Peachy The Monogamy Gene Have you struggled with monogamy in your life? Perhaps in your younger days or even now, you may have had some instances of infidelity. While instances of non-monogamy happen and they’re a perfectly natural part of life, some people are actually genetically predisposed to prefer non-monogamy, rather than monogamy. Science has discovered a specific gene that plays a role in our personal predisposition to the idea of monogamy and its quite fascinating. The Genetics of Monogamy A series of hormones and neurotransmitters are responsible for our lust, attraction, and eventual attachment to the partners we have and will have in our lives. While the usual dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, adrenaline, testosterone, and estrogen are involved, so too are a pair of very important chemicals that help us form solid bonds — and they are oxytocin, the “cuddle chemical” and vasopressin, “the monogamy hormone.” Vasopressin has been linked to monogamy in males, and studies have shown that when it’s inserted into the brains of animals, it makes the animals in question seek to pair-bond, or settle down and commit to one partner. When vasopressin receptors are blocked in the brains of animals, they find themselves much more incapable of settling down with a single partner, and tend to be non-monogamous. A gene has been discovered called RS3 334, which modulates the expression of vasopressin, and though it’s not yet known exactly how, it’s possible that the gene somehow inhibits the production of vasopressin, which means that RS3 334 actually makes people with the gene less likely to be monogamous. In reality, RS3 334 is the non-monogamy gene, and predisposes organisms including humans to stray, become serial-monogamists, or even just remain single. Three Degrees The RS3 334 gene comes in three degrees in human beings, and by this I mean that humans can either have one copy of the gene, two copies of the gene, or no copies of the gene. A study in Sweden compared the quality and style of relationships in 552 people to see how the expression of the gene played out in their actual lives. Sure enough, the men who had two copies of the RS3 334 gene had a much more difficult time with commitment and monogamy, scoring low on the measure of willingness or desire to pair-bond, while men without the RS3 334 gene scored excellently on the same scale. Men with only one copy fell somewhere in the middle. The men with the RS3 334 gene were more likely to be unmarried than their counterparts without the gene, and the men with two copies were the least likely to be married. It should be noted here, that there’s nothing wrong with non-monogamy, I personally feel that monogamy is a choice to be left up to the individual; there’s also, of course, nothing wrong with being single. Many people are both single and perfectly happy with it. Beyond just relationships, RS3 334 also plays a role in how much we trust other people in general, meaning even the very foundation of our ability to trust people outside of our love lives could be the result of a genetic predisposition. Practical Implications What does all of this mean? I’d like to re-emphasize that monogamy isn’t good or bad, but a personal preference. Some people remain single, some people stick with one partner, some people have multiple partners, and all of these are perfectly okay, so long as the participants are willing and of age. With polyamory gaining a more widespread acceptance in today’s sexually liberal social climate, perhaps these results should be taken into consideration when it comes to choosing which path in life is for us. To the question, “Are humans a monogamous species?” most of those in-the-know in the fields which deal with such questions answer, “Sometimes.” Sometimes we’re monogamous, sometimes we’re not, and that’s just the way it is. Monogamy may not be right for everyone and that choice should be left up to the person themselves to decide how they’d like to style their sex lives. For those who’ve considered poly, my story on what to consider before taking the poly plunge may be of interest to you, which can be found here. Men who participated in the study may have scored low on their willingness to marry or commit, and their overall satisfaction within their committed relationships, but everyone involved had been in a relationship for at least 5 years, meaning that some may have stayed in a relationship even when they didn’t really want to out of some sense of social or personal obligation, rather than actual desire, which is something to consider.
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
We're always thought to be monogamous. The perfect couple in daylight, constantly by each other's side, sharing raising their young. Until one day some biologist put equipment on all the swans. The equipment was designed to gather information on which swan was in very close proximity to any another. Turns out everyone was going hell for leather with other partner's when the sun went down. I lived beside a freshwater billabong for a while and yes the sounds of swans going for it till early hours of the morning. Mmmm. Did l just go off topic.....?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Now I’m curious about penguins....
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SSExplorer
7 years ago
All what needs to be said has been given in the excellent answers above (it’s easy to work out which ones these are) I’ll only add that it may help for you to seek professional guidance in understanding why you have these strong desires, strong enough to potentially ruin your life. Not all professionals are as good as others though so please enlist the help of one that is really there to help you grow with no bias. Good luck with it!
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Quoting 'Phoenix_Rising' Now I’m curious about penguins.... Most penguins are monogamous. Some species are serial monogamous meaning they are only exclusive for the season and then move on. Those ones seem to have the right idea.....They don't get sick of each other
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RHP User
7 years ago
While we're off track anyway... Who remembers the penguin couple at the zoo who ignored their babe for many hours till a pair of male penguins took on caring for it. Of course they had to give it back... but were given another babe to care for and they have done brilliantly. We learn something new every day. Like whether monogamy is natural Denning which is a question that has been asked many times in the forum but never from the aspect of it being in our genes, so thanks to you that is something new I have learned, thank you! Peachy
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RHP User
7 years ago
OP, don't be fooled by what people portray in their profiles. I've read a lot of acquaintances' profiles on here, and while on the surface they seem like perfect relationships, when you actually interact/converse with them, the reality is quite different. Their relationships aren't as great as they'd have you believe; they hardly ever actually meet others, let alone have fulfilling encounters. All I'm saying is that the grass definitely isn't always greener in someone else's backyard.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Also - don't be overly enticed by creative photography. People might look half decent in pics but when you meet, you realise that a lot of flattering angles/lighting/filters are employed and their physical presence and personality are completely different in reality.
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pouncepussycat
6 years ago
I found NIGHTMOVES29 post accurate and curious. 80pc of couples fall into sexual boredom after years of being together, a natural progression, I dare say🤫 I’m all for what the individual chooses, but would consider my circumstances if was in a relationship with an understanding of fair play. Circumstances change, but sharing your mindset with your partner (instead of us) will bring dialogue and understanding of how you proceed. As I wouldn’t like my partner to do anything disrespectful with our arrangement, its then reasonable to consider the hurt it sheds on the other. The physical act is fleeting, please consider who you are, how pressing are your physically urges. I believe you have the right to be fulfilled and she has the right to make her own judgement call based on the status quo. Don’t apologise for upsetting others, the true judge is how you feel about yourself and how you treat others. We’re not animals, then again..I wonder! PPC🌹
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RHP User
6 years ago
Know thyself Is probably the most important motto out there. Since it was inscribed to the temple entries of ancient Egypt, it keeps reminding people one golden rule of living harmonious life. You are what your innermost desires are, and unless you set off on a journey to discover those while being honest to yourself and everyone else around you, you’ll never be truly happy. This applies to everything from work we do to pay the bills to relationships. You may settle for stability but once you sacrifice your freedom, and who you are, what’s the point?
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