Retrospective Monongamy

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  it's that word, it's fucked, and we're not lose that and you're free, never to be restrained again, never to feel jealous or possessive again or have another human being feel that way about you. It's very freeing and I highly recommend it

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I had only had sex with my husband! He is younger than me and even though we met when he was 19, he still had far more sexual experience than I did. Interestingly enough, he suggested swinging and had been for over 10 years. Initially I felt that he wanted to swing because I wasn't enough, that he'd had so much variety before and needed more. The reality was that he wanted me to try other things because I hadn't been with anyone else, he didn't want me to have any regrets. I did have a number of concerns over my ability to be physically with someone else and whether my 'skill set' was good enough! These fears have been unfounded ;) Our relationship has evolved since then, all for the better! Swinging has never been about 'balancing numbers' but shared experiences that have enabled us to grow and develop further as individuals and a couple. Mary xx

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  Monian

  9 years ago

  "Our relationship has evolved since then, all for the better! Swinging has never been about 'balancing numbers' but shared experiences that have enabled us to grow and develop further as individuals and a couple. " THIS!

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  WineAndFunTimes

  9 years ago

  Both of us have had lots of sexual partners in the past and we were both in marriages where we had affairs. In fact, I was the mistress for a short period of time. We were together for 6 years before we started swinging which was 6 months ago. We love each other to bits but we also really love sex. We were destined to be swingers, just kicking ourselves that we didn't realise that earlier. We have found that swinging is not only exciting in itself but has enhanced our sex life greatly. We enjoy meeting genuine couples that we can have a social relationship with as well as lots of fun in the bedroom. Our circle of friends is definitely expanding. They say the sex dies off after you get married.......not a chance.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Yes when I was married I did fantasies about being with other people , I wish my then husband felt the same way unfortunately he was very straight that's why I left him lol I have been with couples that were the one and only and for me to be thrown in the mix is exilirating knowing that I had made them happy. That I pleased both giving them equal time without one feeling left out . When I was a couple on Pie swinging , it was a learning tool for me that you can have sex with others and just enjoy the sex without emotions . We talked about our play and it got us horiner thinking about the experience and our sex life together was fantastic, it did bring us closer when we we're swinging. It's all about honesty and talking and setting boundaries. Good luck Slow if your thinking about it or have . The opportunities are endless .

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  madotara69

  9 years ago

  Monogamy has been a beautiful thing for us, twenty five years faithful, friends and in love. We never owned each other, can't tell each other what who can or can't do, choices we make along the way we have done together one way or another. We had sexual partners before we got together, we knew each other for quite some time before we got together and knew of some of those sexual partners, some other friends in the mix. We lived in a monogamous relationship, marriage, three children, because we each chose to be loyal, respectful and faithful together and true friendship because of it. We chose to have a dabble in the swinging lifestyle because we decided to hang out with each other doing something we enjoy, having sex and sharing all the wonderful things positive energy provides, for some it's the atmosphere, the vibe, the freedom, the likes, the choice we chose a monogamish time, moments in our life, more than sex it's self. Mado Mado Tara xx

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  In the scheme of things but hubby was only my third ever partner and I was his second. Monogamous for 15 years, kids etc. I initiated opening our marriage. We don't swing in the traditional sense yet, and I'm the only one who has exploded outside our marriage so far. I had the same concerns as Mary - being inexperienced and worrying whether I would perform. But so far the few experiences I've had have been great. For us it's been a hard road and one we are still navigating. But we are talking and opening up to each other like never before. Getting the idea of what you've grown up believing out of your head. Realising sex should be shared and enjoyed. It's empowering, pleasuring, rewarding - physically, mentally and emotionally. As for whether it makes or breaks us - watch this space 😉

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  Seachange73

  9 years ago

  Beautiful post. I'm feeling the love 😍 Thanks for sharing. X

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  The question is mainly aimed at couples. However I had only been with one person before getting involved in this scene. Meaning the second person I had a sexual interaction with was essentially a stranger at a house party (and also someone else's partner). It was having my first experiences as an adult with my former partner that gave me the confidence to pursue other fantasies. Obviously I would have liked it to have lasted, but I do wonder if my inclination to various fantasies would have been possible/realised with that partner, or whether I would have been content with monogamy. Certainly I would have been for a long while, as I was committed to the idea of sharing a life together. Some things I guess you will never know. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  Sawadee

  9 years ago

  Hey you , I see you haven't lost any of that appetite for some skin on skin just like before . Still the same as when I pulled up stumps last December.. Yeah, I'm back for some more entertainment from train wrecks like you and me.. lol.. Good to see you still say it as you see it.. Cheers Jay. 😀

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  ... that this thread seems to be for couples. Looking at the relationships I've had so far in my life, only one was sexually satisfying where we matched each other's lust and libido. Lucky man... I never said, "Not tonight, dear." The other relationships left me sexually dissatisfied and made me dread being trapped in a relationship where the man had lost interest in sex or had a libido that didn't match mine or was so vanilla I felt like I was trapped in a time warp in those times when you could only do it in missionary and "lie back and think of England". And then what... I remained faithful in those relationships but I slowly grew to resent being rejected whenever I made advances or being confined to the same ol' same ol' so I stopped trying altogether after a while. It made the relationships lacklustre but I was always too nice and too considerate to leave because I didn't want to hurt anyone and was always hopeful that things will change. Now, with age and life experiences, I have embraced who I am sexually and I don't think I can reverse the sands of time and ignore self-revelation and allow myself to be entrapped in a sexless or in a vanilla only relationship again ever. I am curious and adventurous but I do need to know that I can trust that a man will be around for the various journeys and adventures that we will undertake together. I want a man who is patient enough to listen to my curiosities, my concerns, etc and figure out a way to embark on the adventures whilst holding my hand. I have met guys who are sexually adventurous here but they belong to the "Wham! Bam! Thank you, ma'am!" hook-up category and whilst I am a Curious Georgette and very keen on trying out new stuff, I don't want to turn around the next day wanting to talk about what happened and how to improve, what new stuff to try next, this and that, only to find that the man has disappeared and is not responsive to msgs. That makes me feel used to a certain extent - "I've had my fun with you and buh-bye till the next time!" or worse, "I've had my fun with you and you shall now go on rotation with my other fuck buddies until your turn comes round again!" It would be great to embark on a non-clingy Together Apart relationship with someone who understands that premise. Trust is so vital! And Communication and Empathy oils the gears of Trust. Within that framework, I will become no-holds barred and will be open to discuss anything and everything, including swinging. In fact, I never thought I'd ever say this, but I do look forward to the day when I have a relationship so full of love, trust and mutual respect, much like Hotwives, Wine and Fun Times, madotara, etc that I can return to RHP to open a Couples Profile and explore the Swinging lifestyle, if the man is so inclined. Sharing an adventure is so exciting and there'll be lots to talk about afterwards! Plus, there's this conspiracy thing going on between the two of you - you've both indulged in something naughty and controversial and you're both keeping each other's secrets... sly smiles when you lock sight with each other across a crowded room at a party... so much to talk about and dissect in discussions afterwards... decisions made together about who to swing with, etc. There's a part of me that blossoms when I can love and serve, and I look forward to the day when I hear his car in the garage when he drives home after work, and as he opens the door, I'll greet him with a wry, cheeky smile, apron over lingerie, food still cooking on the stove, "Honey... I found us a potential couple to play with on RHP! Tell me what you think!" *clink wine glasses... Someday...

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I wanted to give you some time to settle in again but thanks, yeah great to see you back. Yep not much has changed lol

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I guess the underlying question for us is "Is long term monogamy easier if you have had lots of partners and fun beforehand or does it make it worse knowing what it was like and that you could still be enjoying that lifestyle" Would love to hear more from some of the many quiet observers on this site who rarely comment. Mr and mrs slow.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  I was my ex husband's first and only partner when we got married. After many years together he grew to resent this and had a couple of affairs including with a woman I knew.  He used his lack of previous lovers to justify his actions. I think if he had been more open about his desires we may have worked it out.  Certainly for him, the feeling he "missed out" was a major problem.  Charlotte xx

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Hi, In my last three relationships, including this one:)), I have with my partners, had threesomes and totally enjoyed them. My first were in my 20's. My partner has been in a few long term relationships, he will only go into a relationship with someone bi and had threesomes all his life starting when he was a teenager:))..We both met on this site, we both are in love with each other love watching each other being pleasured and giving it, love women and most of all love playtime and sex. To play you need to have no jealous issues or be able to handle them and see those feeling as self doubt, you need to trust the other fully.. A lot of our girl friends say they would get jealous but it is our lifestyle, I personally if with another male partner who didn't play etc, I would miss being with girls and and the other way around too, ..it is the best of both world ...it is about the lead up, the texts, messages, pictures chats and then meeting and knowing that playtime is playtime, nothing more, but no less either, yum ... If monongarmy isn't for someone, then this is the lifestyle to have - Posted from rhpmobile

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