M39 F35
Understanding single guys.
August 09 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
You are WAY over thinking this. Single guys at parties are there to have fun. They don't give a rats arse about what your relationship is, or what agreement you have between you. Obviously Mr you have issues with this and feel like you are some how being diminished If another guy roots your wife... This is your issue, not anybody else's.
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RHP User
11 years ago
And you Meeka are WAY over generalizing single males and your interpretation of what this guy is trying to say is WAY off base!!! If you don't have anything nice or positive (or even correct) to contribute to this, then go take you condescending attitude elsewhere please. Now as for you Mr. Fox... Unfortunately there are SOME guys out there that just want to get their dick wet and don't really care. This is true. But there are also guys (like myself) out there that want everyone involved to enjoy the whole experience. It sounds to me that you just want someone who is going to appreciate being a part of your fantasy as much as you do and that if he was in your shoes he would also do the same. There is nothing wrong with that. But it does mean that you are going to have to a bit of "vetting" i guess to make sure that the person you choose is the right one. I wish you luck in your search :-D
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Taby_DK
11 years ago
I agree with Meeka. From my (Female) point of view - If you partner is feeling jealousy when you play with other couples even when it's just foreplay & she has to be coached into it is she really playing because she wants to or is she doing it because it's what YOU want (which will always lead to problems in the future). Your partner should be just as excited as you to play in the scene & should have an idea of what SHE wants. Communication between you is key. Ask her what she wants, ask her if she wants a MMF with you and another guy first & let her have a say in who you choose before you randomly pick out a guy & shove yourself all in a room together. Also if she isn't keen consider the fact that she may not want to engage in swinging with you & you may just have to accept that & not push her into doing what you want. I also think that you might have a little bit of jealousy there when you think about her with another man & you want to control the situation. Could you watch her have sex with another man of a couple if you where not able to join in? I think both of you need to sit down & talk about this it seems there is some communication blackout. To have a strong swinging relationship with your partner requires trust, communication & NO jealous from either of you. Taby.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree. Also comments like the single guy is supposed to be there for the couple. He is just a meat puppet the couple uses as they wish and he is just a cock to be directed. Well, I know some single guys would love this but as a single female if a couple treated me like that in a club I would tell them to fuck off.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ummm. That is hilarious, look in the mirror dude. Pot, kettle, black. LMAO!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mr_MrsFox2430'I'm asking how are most single guys in this lifestyle? If we did it is he viewing it as " this stupid guy is letting me fuck his girl" The fact that you're asking this question is telling me you are wary of watching a single guy with your girlfriend. It almost sounds you'd dislike him before he even did anything. Not a comfortable situation for anyone. You sound like you genuinely care about making her feel comfortable, but it sounds to me that even if you succeeded, you yourself would not be. Tread with caution and like Taby said: Communication is key.
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RHP User
11 years ago
That is an old debate by the way. Men feel like they are privileged by being with the couple where as single women see it as they are giving the couple the privilege of being with them. Over simplification of course and sounds a bit arrogant in a way that is unintended by me but I can't be bothered rewording to, but that is why I THINK single men are in abundance and single females wanting to play with couples are unicorns. Rare.
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Taby_DK
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' That is an old debate by the way. Men feel like they are privileged by being with the couple where as single women see it as they are giving the couple the privilege of being with them. Over simplification of course and sounds a bit arrogant in a way that is unintended by me but I can't be bothered rewording to, but that is why I THINK single men are in abundance and single females wanting to play with couples are unicorns. Rare. Yep Meeka they are definitely unicorns,we have had no luck finding even one on RHP lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Men feel like they are privileged by being with the couple where as single women see it as they are giving the couple the privilege of being with them. No. If they're no absolute equality, I'm out. Unicorn or not.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' That is an old debate by the way. Men feel like they are privileged by being with the couple where as single women see it as they are giving the couple the privilege of being with them. Over simplification of course and sounds a bit arrogant in a way that is unintended by me but I can't be bothered rewording to, but that is why I THINK single men are in abundance and single females wanting to play with couples are unicorns. Rare. As shown in the OP's comment, "If I was ever single I'd like to go a party and do that for a couple. Basically let them use me as just a cock for their enjoyment and do what they say." Many single men seem to be quite happy to be a couple's 'plaything', whereas this not appealing to most single women. But I also agree that it sounds as though there may be some jealousy issues on both sides here. I'm sure you wouldn't have too much trouble finding a suitable single guy, but...you need to have a good think about it, and talk to your partner, and if you suspect that you are not going to be comfortable watching her fuck another man then perhaps reconsider whether you actually want to go down that path.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' If they're no absolute equality, I'm out. There is no*
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RHP User
11 years ago
Personally I think OP is right in thinking this, the words might not be the same, however the feeling is..... Before you go into it all, you should dissect how your feeling and question absolutely everything...... How else can you even anticipate your reaction.......... There will automatically be that element of worry before the 'event' occurs............ The only thing I can say, is don't plan it, just let this happen when you meet someone and you both like his company, that way it has more meaning and is more memorable for all concerned........ However, the most important thing is to communicate with each other.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was very unsure of swapping and we met a really great guy at the couples club who made both of us feel respected, comfortable and special...... He asked hubbies permission every step of the way........... We now count him as one of our good friends....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Good on you and your partner for experimenting, communicating and growing together! It sounds like some of the swinging lifestyle is pretty new to you and it's completely normal to ask questions and want to tread carefully. I didn't jump to the conclusion that you have issues because of the questions you've asked, or that you would treat a single man poorly by using his as a fuck toy with no consideration for his experience. Don't be too concerned if people misunderstand your questions ... everyone's coming from their own experiences and that can colour responses. My conclusion, right or wrong, is simply that you're not sure what to expect from a 'full swap', you have some concerns and you'd like some insights from others. In my experience, single men can have vastly different attitudes to having sex with a couple. Some just want to get laid - e.g. any hole's a goal. You'll find lots of tossers on here and at clubs and parties. On the other hand, some men feel privileged to be part of the intimacy a couple share. Even validations on some profiles here confirm this, where men who've been in an MFM with a couple talk about it in glowing and respectful terms. Many couples discuss the ground rules for the experience between themselves and with the intended man. That way everyone is clear and can just get on and have fun. This includes the extra man as well, as naturally he wants certain things from the experience and his needs are also important. There have been threads in the past with lists of good ground rules to consider - it might be worth doing an advanced search for some. Other posters probably recall them and might even post the links here, perhaps. My biggest tip is to screen really well. I understand the thrill and spontaneity of hooking up at clubs and parties but if you do that it can be much, much harder to establish the right connection, discuss ground rules, and protect yourself from tossers, not to mention STIs etc. Good luck, have fun, be safe :)
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madotara69
11 years ago
Hi We don't go to clubs, though we do have threesomes with single men, it is something we fantasised, discussed and both decided to have a shot at it. To be honest, if you find the right guy jealousy should not really come into it, if you find the wrong guy it may. It can hit at any time and how you rationalise it needs to be done in an instant. Very hard to explain and something only you can experience for your selves. Personally, I think many people lump a whole bunch of feelings that all come under the label of jealousy, it is a complex set of emotions and only natural especially if you have strong feelings (Love) for each other. If you decide to give it a go, maybe have a safe word in place, so to save awkward moments, and be careful to find a guy that you all get on with and respect each others boundaries, his as well. It can be fantastic and it can be mediocre. Talk lots to each other about what you find difficult as well as what you would enjoy. If any feelings are being avoided, then talk more to them. Good luck. Mado Mado Tara xx
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
We meet privately, not at clubs, and always meet socially first to make sure we all gel. Part of the key to success is mutual respect between all parties, and I think choosing experienced guys will help if you are new to the experience. Another REALLY important factor to success is if it turns you on to think of her getting royally fucked by someone-else. If it does you should do just fine, if not... Well that's when you need to have an honest look at your motivations.
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MsSuperFoxy
11 years ago
Maybe I am reading into this and the male 1/2 wrote the Topic? From even a single woman's point of view and my point of view only. I'm not experienced as others on here in threesomes or the whole club scene. My gut is telling me something does not add up or sound right. I believe the first thing is the both of you need to sort yourselves out first. You say OP your gal MAY get a little jealous.... so your thinking is, YOU want to bring a single man into the equation for her to fuck, without the fear of YOU fucking his girl. Then you say YOU want to see her take two cocks at once. Why are you thinking this and how do you know she MAY be a little jealous? Have you discussed this with her? Maybe she is not feeling 100% safe or comfortable, that is why she feels the way she does and you are thinking of a way to fix her feelings. May I suggest you focus on your partner first, rather than others. This is not just about YOU op this is about the two of you as equals - and includes your partner as well. Talk to experienced swingers who have been in the scene, hear what they have to say, seek feedback but please do it as a couple together. Foxy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Bigmamma1' I was very unsure of swapping and we met a really great guy at the couples club who made both of us feel respected, comfortable and special...... He asked hubbies permission every step of the way........... We now count him as one of our good friends.... He asked for Hubbies "permission" every step of the way? Seriously? It certainly can be a mind field being with a couple.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' You are WAY over thinking this. Single guys at parties are there to have fun. They don't give a rats arse about what your relationship is, or what agreement you have between you. Obviously Mr you have issues with this and feel like you are some how being diminished If another guy roots your wife... This is your issue, not anybody else's. Couldn't agree with you more!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Darkrenzo' And you Meeka are WAY over generalizing single males and your interpretation of what this guy is trying to say is WAY off base!!! If you don't have anything nice or positive (or even correct) to contribute to this, then go take you condescending attitude elsewhere please. Now as for you Mr. Fox... Unfortunately there are SOME guys out there that just want to get their dick wet and don't really care. This is true. But there are also guys (like myself) out there that want everyone involved to enjoy the whole experience. It sounds to me that you just want someone who is going to appreciate being a part of your fantasy as much as you do and that if he was in your shoes he would also do the same. There is nothing wrong with that. But it does mean that you are going to have to a bit of "vetting" i guess to make sure that the person you choose is the right one. I wish you luck in your search :-D Not quite sure what you are actually on about!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I really do think some of these threads become all about grabbing some attention for the people posting and VERY much trying to dictate one dynamic or opinion on others. Keep it real ok?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'funfukbuddy' I really do think some of these threads become all about grabbing some attention for the people posting and VERY much trying to dictate one dynamic or opinion on others. Caught on, have you? Jump right in!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Only YOU can dictate how YOU will feel about attending a swinger party....So why not just jump in the deep end, fuck yr brains out, and encourage yr woman to do the same..... !! Hell, you both may even we enjoy it.... Then bring more on... Alternatively, you hated it, and decided its not yr scene.....Then so what,.... try something else....At least you tried, and no one died....Simple really..!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
About touching me, he wanted to make sure hubby was comfortable about anything he did..... It was NOT asking hubbies permission in that I was his lol...... We had gone past that when we were chatting together for the hour previously.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hmmmm my young OP friend ive been in your shoes 20yrs ago. I still remember a similar uncertainty. Correct me here but i think you are saying that the guy inside of you is feeling a tad embarrassed about sharing your girl with other (single)guys who are not sharing theirs? Some people will be unable to grasp this thinking. So I say to them think of it like this:A lions stereotypical job is to protect his pride - likewise with my young OP friend. However this lion is willing to forego that for the pleasure of his partner, but still can not help feeling like he may be seen by other lions as not doing his job. Thats all it is. OP its ok my friend. The girls are right in that most guys are there for their own pleasure only they generally do not care about the dynamics of your relationship because its all about their own pleasure. In saying that some of the mature aware guys will actually care about the relationship dynamics and will get more pleasure when they see that things are good. I know that because im one of them. SD
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RHP User
11 years ago
It sounds a bit like of the two of you, you're most keen on getting into swinging, and that your girlfriend is going along with it to please you. The fact that she thinks she might get jealous, and that you're hoping to ameliorate this by getting her laid first, is a bit of an alarm bell. You should move forward with care, and pay careful attention to how she actually feels about the whole thing, read between the lines of what she says to you. If she's doing it to please you, and has to bury feelings of jealously, that's going to be toxic for her wellbeing and for your relationship. If that's not the case, then surely you just need to meet up with the single men you're considering before hand to talk to them and see how you both feel about them. I've done that before with a couple and it was all good. It's pretty common.
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madotara69
11 years ago
We get you, hey it can be a bit awkward asking the single guy what he would like to do too, just in the early stages, then once things get all warmed up, all that goes away and nature takes it's course. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Our answers above are obviously from a female perspective. I and the other women above have assumed that the OP is projecting his own fears and feelings onto others. Something that is pretty normal, so for me if he is worried that a guy is going to be thinking he is silly for letting another guy bang his wife well it must be because he feels that way himself or is worried about the out comes. But my lover told me once that there is a whole level of competitiveness that goes on between men that women completly miss. Sometimes when I have discussed situations with him his explanation of why men have acted in a certain way has surprised me. Men are still a little bit cave man underneath the sophistication. :p
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RHP User
11 years ago
a lot of these 'single guys' are not single at all. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'd have to agree with Meeka. I mean come on. How would you go up to a guy in a club ? Hi would you mind if me and my girl just use you for a quick experiment to see if my girl likes it?? That's just wrong. No guy that I know would say yes to that. I would prob tell them to fuck off as well. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'd freak out as well if that was what happened...... I must have met some darn amazing people at the couples club then, because it's never happened that way.......... For us, we sit back at the lounge with our drinks and people come and join us, or we sit with others....... It is amazing how open everyone is and the first two questions that everyone seems to ask is "have you been here before" and "what are you looking for" and no, not always those words........... What is so surprising is that we actually get fairly honest answers............. I will also say, if you watch the dynamics, you can mostly see who is sleazy or are just players lol.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Partyall2014'use you for a quick experiment to see if my girl likes it?? That's just wrong. No guy that I know would say yes to that. I would prob tell them to fuck off as well. Hi, thanks for posting that and I hope most men feel the same way. I must say though that I've come across a few men in a swingers club that I'm suspect would have jumped at the chance.Unfortunately I think those would be the same guys that would be more than a little annoyed if the girl did decide halfway through that she wanted to stop. Quoting 'Bigmamma1' I will also say, if you watch the dynamics, you can mostly see who is sleazy or are just players lol. Yes, agree. I'd advise anyone new to just sit back and watch for a bit. The sleazy guys tend to reveal themselves pretty early on.Looks you found yourself an amazing guy, mamma!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' You are WAY over thinking this. Single guys at parties are there to have fun. They don't give a rats arse about what your relationship is, or what agreement you have between you. Obviously Mr you have issues with this and feel like you are some how being diminished If another guy roots your wife... This is your issue, not anybody else's. Maybe you two should just stick to soft oral,We have been doing this for a while and we never swap for sexual intercourse.
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RHP User
11 years ago
BellaRH... Do you mean the op and meeka should stick to soft oral ? 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄 Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Personally I had similar "reservations" at first. I think the main reason is that we are indulging in an activity that is deemed to be "wrong" by a large portion of society. We are taught that monogamy is the human way.Once you get past the mental barriers of right and wrong then it becomes more clear that the rules are... well... non existent and in fact you get to write your own rules suitable to you and your partners desires and expectations.Still to this day I prefer to find single gents who are gentlemen and appreciate the fact that they get the chance to be with my wife and not treat it as a side show prize. But that is more respect for my wife not jealousy..I'm hearing you totally OP.. Your way of thinking is not abnormal, just search for the right guys ;-)We also tend to look for couples who can play alone sometimes for this very reason. Ruffy
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