M57 F57
Why Do Some People Not Respond To Messages
October 08 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hey late30scouple, I have to admit, I do not always send a response to flirts/messages. The first reason is that (sob) I don't like to get rejection messages myself. When I open my box I only want to see happy affirmative responses!!! The way I see it is, is I smiled at a gent in a bar and he ignored me, I would know instantly that he was not interested and I would be moving my attentions to the next fellow, no probs. If the guy I smiled at crossed the room and there I am getting all excited he is coming to talk to me, and when he reaches me says "Sorry you are not my type" or whatever, I quite frankly, would feel HUMILIATED. And who wants that? The second reason is that a kind "no you are too young for me" message or simular is rarely accepted. I have very young men messaging me all the time, and when I turn them down they have responded, and I quote "dont you want to try a huy in the prime of his life, you wont be let down" etc etc and refuse to accept my answer, which is tedious. Sometimes, it is better just to ignore. Hope this helps, though I do appreciate it is frustrating. xoxo
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RHP User
16 years ago
and there are lots of different types of responses.Speaking for myself, I would prefer a response even it is in the negative cos no response at all is not necessarily negative... we got a reply to a flirt I sent 2 mths ago the other day... and that was from a guy. I think we'll give that one a miss lol. We make sure to answer messages and have a simple template we can send with a cpl of clicks. It is written on our profile that we have the template to send to profiles that don't match etc and that no explanation will be given... to save us from the types of messages lovebitten mentioned. It works for us, we ignore the cpl that still ask anyway cos we made ourselves clear in the first place, we get a 10% of messages back to say thanks which we really appreciate, and we don't get nasty messages which you gotta love.The best way to look at not getting answers I think is to be grateful that they obviously weren't our type Good luck with itMrs Peachy
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RHP User
16 years ago
I do respond to every flirt and message..Most don't match what I am looking for. It is annoying when people don't respond back to your messages. But for me..in the end, I just think it is good as they are time wasters and they then lose the chance to meet lil sweet me..lol Silly kisses sweetpetite41
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RHP User
16 years ago
I think 90% of people would prefer a negative response as opposed to none at all. One thing though make sure the people you have messaged have been online, they may not have read it. If they have read it and not responded then they are probably one of those people that only bother to respond to those that they feel like it. Don't let it get you down and don't stop responding yourselves to messages. Believe me a response is appreciated, try to give a reason with it though.
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RHP User
16 years ago
RHP is primarily a sex site.Many seek NSA style of interaction.For some it's just for fun and means nothing more.Others read more into it.As much as in Dating personals sites where people primarily seek relationships rejection is an issue on RHP it is implied otherwise. Many people here have parallel profiles on many other sites and hardly get a chance to read through and respond to hundreds of messages they get here and there or by the time they get to it few weeks have gone by and they feel no point in responding.That is the side-effect of this age of instant gratifications , emails, IM and SMS.Gone are the days where one writes a sentimental well though of letter and awaits many weeks to receive an answer.It is the age of Quantity.We sell our souls and eventually evolve for the next phase.Till then we can have fun sensibly and hurt nobody.No pleasure is worth causing emotional pain.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I would prefer to recieve a response of some sort at least even if your not interested ladies I think that if some one has gone to the effort you should respond even just a cut and pasted no thank you would be suffice... And in all honesty there is alot of the female profiles that just say message me or ask me so you do and still get nothing. So what are we to do, Probably the same on the male side as well.. I tend to think of it as a digital pub and rejection goes with the territory some times you win some times you loose part of life so I would not be offended in the slightest of a rejection email back. What I'm really sick of on this site is woman soliciting and I get replies back froma hello message saying "well it is 300ph and this is what I do" Had my spit for the day cheers
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RHP User
16 years ago
I put a lot of effort into messages that I send to people that Im interested in and always ask that they reply whether negative or positive, as I appreciate a response. I dont worry if its negative, as Im sure there will be others out there that are interested. I find it rather rude that people cant be bothered replying, in my opinion its just being lazy. My motto is treat people the way you would like to be treated...If you put yourself in someone elses shoes & realise that they have spent a message trying to make contact, then I think its only fair that you reply, it's not costing you a thing & only takes a few seconds to write it. In my opinion, there are many people in this world who have lost their manners & general etiquette with regards to communication.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hi late30scouple, yes very annoying i reckon about 10% reply to my messages, i don't send that many flirts never got a response when i did flirt heaps. I've almost given up sending messages due to lack of response they have to be pretty interesting, have a photo to get my attention now. It really doesn't take that long to hit reply and type "sorry your not what i'm looking for" does it? So it happens to couples, what about single women do their flirts/messages get no reply?
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'm lazy and rude and I have a superiority complex. And I'd rather be spending my rhp time responding to messages in the forum.
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RHP User
16 years ago
about the only messages or flirts we deliberetly do not respond to are those from the "Im gods gft to women and I know your profile says you dont want me, but meh try me anyway cause I am simply awesome and better than all teh rest.." also known on this site as the single guy brigade.For couples adn single fems we generally try to respond one way or another.. for single guys dont even bother reading em, we just delete em and put the guys on our block list... if they cant take the time to read our profile which would tell them not to bother wasting their time their flirts or their messages in the first place, then we arent going to waste our time in reading them or telling them to bugger off.. nicely or not so nicely.Isnt there something RHP can do to filter out these annoying single guys.. I mean teh date finder wont allow you to express interest in a profile that doesnt match , why cant the messaging system.
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RHP User
16 years ago
To me its like someone calling across the room....john or harry or whatever....I dont even look unless its' hey Mars'. In other words unless someone interests me I dont bother with a reply. I am so sick of people who are not what I and we seek messaging and flirting. I simply dont respond and if they are really not what we seek I block em. If they persist the ones I dont block first up get blocked the 2nd time. Mars
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RHP User
16 years ago
they are just rude pricks..? common curtesy and manners are simple... no thanks..or... we are busy, maybe next time.. seems pretty easy to us? we are all busy, but theres no excuse for rudeness Neo and Blaze
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RHP User
16 years ago
In our experience while we do get a lot of messages from guys that don't match we also get messages from couples AND women that don't match. There is a huge percentage more of guys than either couples or women so it only makes sense that there would be a much bigger percentage from men.There is a selection box on the inbox pages that allows you to set for matching profiles, non-matching profiles and all profiles as far as filtering goes. We like to swap messages with people that don't match on a regular basis and would not like to have a system in place that did not allow us to do that.
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RHP User
16 years ago
good for you trishl! All the best with that... Mrs P
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RHP User
16 years ago
We try and respond to everyone....although if they are not what we are looking for it may take some time for us to get around to it! Generally we wait until we have a few of those and then do a mass reply saying we're not interested.As "guests" it can get a bit frustrating when we get flirts from other "guests"as we obviously can't get in touch, but we have a paid up profile on a different site and at the moment that suits us better. That's not to say that the situation won't change in the future and it's nice to know there are people out there who would like to get to know us better, even if we have to wait a while before we can get in touch! lolG & M
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RHP User
16 years ago
Thanks to all, I feel a bit better to get it off my chest, most replies are great and you have a great attitude peachypear. As for Mars, it is nothing like someone "calling across a room". It is a direct message to you, not anyone else. I know it can be a pain when you are bombarded from dickheads but you need to reply with a piss off or no thanks or anything, it takes a few seconds and we find most get the message. Thanks againG & C
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RHP User
16 years ago
We dont respond to anyone that cant be bothered reading our profile. we get so many messages that simply do not meet our ads requirments (which arent that tight), especially single guys hoping that we might just take them, when we simply arent intertested. Our opinion is if you cant be bothered reading profile, and seeing what a person or people are after, then why should we be polite and respond. If you do contact us, and meet our requirements, we will reply, even if you arent the one for us, simply to give you the courtesy of a response, and to thank you for contacting us.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I find i rather strange that Late30scouple would put up a topic like this When they havent even replyd once to us ????????????????????/????? I can accept rejection . All it takes is a simple ( No sorry you are not what we are looking for ...) I think a lot of ppl need to gain a bit more respect for others on here .. Any way only my 2cents worth ...... B & K
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RHP User
16 years ago
Late 30s....what I meant was they arent talking to me or us cos we are looking for what we say on our profile and NOT looking for some idiot who cant read, gets all excited and then sends us a message. We seek a certain type which doesnt include straight guys or couples seeking women. We took our time with our profile are are very clear what we seek. Therefor they are not talking to me even though they send a message..sorry I am over idiots who cant read or understand. I always reply to people who deserve a reply. The rest can leave us alone and I dont give a rats if they get upset when I dont reply. RHP is so much better now that its easy to block. Mars
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RHP User
16 years ago
We always take the time to reply to all couples and females as we like to get a response from people we try to contact, whether they are interested or not. Single guys is another story entirely...if they haven't taken the time to get past our pictures to read that we aren't interested in them then we wont take the time to read their message.
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RHP User
16 years ago
It is the way our society has become. Yesteryear when the phone rang, you answered it, if you received a letter you responded by writing back... but today ... with technology the way it is... we can let the mob ring, let it go to voice mail and respond if we want to, if we get an sms, some respond, some dont... and some respond days later, and its the same with emails ... People have become rude and ignorant. Its not hard to do a quick response with, either not interested but thanks anyway, or hey busy at the moment, but i will respond with more detail later (and hopefully they do), or actually do a full response. People are on this website to try and hook up... with hopefully what they are looking for... some of course have fake profiles (beats me why... probably the cheating thing or just to be a total pervert.. who knows).... but in the end... if you get a msg respond, if you get a flirt respond... its not hard to do... I know we always respond either way.
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RHP User
16 years ago
and agree with most sentiments here, it doesn't take long to respond to a message even if it is "sorry, not what we are looking for". We endevour to respond to all winks and messages, sometimes admittedly we have missed replying because of work commitments at the moment, but common courtesy is not hard. We know everyone has personal tastes, as we do ourselves, and attraction is a major criteria. We feel it's more offensive to not get a reply than getting a no thanks. But hey,we understand that 2 heads, buck teeth and webbed feet is not everyones cup of tea, well thats the way it makes you feel sometimes.However lately we have had a few couples we sent messages to and didn't get a response from, but a week or 2 later we get a flirt. So we reply with a message and again, no reply. It wouldn't be worth bringing up if it happened once with one couple, but this has happened with 3 different couples. We are confused. Another instance we replied to a message with "thanks but not what we are looking for" then got a message questioning us about it. Well number 1) their profile stated they were only looking for women, got caught out with that once before, 2) we didn't like the way we were approached originally, and 3) we weren't physically attracted to them. So will we respond to the questioning, I don't think so.
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RHP User
16 years ago
We dont reply to a message until both of us are on RHP at the same time and this could take a few days. On the other hand we have found those that have taken the time to message us and when we do reply. They never seem to reply back. Has anyone else had this?
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RHP User
16 years ago
Sometimes you just do not feel like you want to reject someone ... so you leave it for another day. And for another ... etc. Though mostly we do reply honestly if we do not feel like a match. But to those who we did not reply to ... we apologize. Sorry. Yes we do feel guilty about that. Here's our Christmas resolution: will reply to every message from now on. ("hey there" and "have moar pics?" do not qualify as a message though).
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RHP User
16 years ago
For us it largely depends on who it is.Eg- we reieve a flirt and message from a couple with no pic, 2 lines about themselves and a message along the lines of "Are you interested?" - In what exactly??????? pfffft. We will respond to those who have READ our profile, and have put effot into theirs, and the message. If wwe feel you have put no effort in, then you will not get a response from us.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I know sometimes we may miss a message because mr ssc will log in read a new message and then forget to mention it to me and then when I next log in I don't know there is a new message because it has already been read but not replied to.
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scooda
16 years ago
beginning to think is this a fix a no thank-you would be nice
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RHP User
16 years ago
Why do some people not respond to your messages? "THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU"
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RHP User
16 years ago
We have been slowly replying to all our flirts and messages. We just have so little time but we do make the effort. Some delays occur due to not being able to have the time to discuss with each other some of the people that contact us. But we will as soon as we make a decision. It is interesting that everyone we have chosen to reject have taken it well. We have even had some thank you messages because we chose to reply rather than ignore. Well that was until yesterday when we politely said "no" as from reading the message and looking at the pg (there were no face pics) that we did not feel we were wanting the same things as they did. We were sent a very abusive message. We tried to explain nicely why we rejected them. We then received 2 more abusive messages including one saying I was a pervert because when I was 18 my partner would have been 5 and that Karma was going to get me. ( We have only been together for the last 3.5 years) We did not reply to the last 2 messages at all and have blocked & reported them. After that experience I can understand why some people chose not to send rejection messages. I am sure that this is a rarity. We are new to this site, so we hope it is a rarity and we will still continue to reply to people who contact us. those of you we have not replied to as yet, believe me we will very soon. Cheers M & R
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RHP User
16 years ago
If your profiles match age sexual interest etc We think its just bad manners not answering. If they profiles dont match ...the other party has not read your profile and therefore dont deserve a responce but most of the time we do even just to say....You are not what we are looking for but good luck. Cheers
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RHP User
16 years ago
Do you respond to every bit of mail thats put in your letterbox???NO.Me either...so if youre not what ive said im looking for and you still send one...dont get offended when i dont reply.Just my opinion...BJxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I read the profile and only message if I suit but rearly get a reply.Sometimes the profil;es can be a bit misleading I said sometimes.EG; NO GUYS but T/V are okGang Bang But not married or fat or short or small cocked or hairy or bauld or whatever ReallyGROUP ??? To me that's pretty openAnd then I sent "just a compliment" message to a stuningly beautiful women Who sent a reply I was over the moon
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RHP User
16 years ago
ok, yes we be known not to respond the messages and flirts, like many have stated above "read the profile' fully. Or even just a message saying show me ya pg, but we do reply to ones that may have possibilities of meeting up, being a guest and getting a flirt saying 'i think your hot, what ya think of me' HELLO guest cant see some pics! cant keep everyone happy, we all different somehow! mrscuma
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